Hammersmith 2nd XV headed to Camberley needing a win after tough losses to London Welsh and Wimbledon in recent weeks. Consistently improving performances, a strong side (though with only a single sub) and an excellent warm up all combined to give the away side confidence against a Camberley 2nd XV team who looked like they had barely finished their GCSEs.

In classic Bastards fashion, the game started poorly. A turnover at the second ruck of the whole game and a neat kick-through by Camberley put the Bastards 5-0 down after a handful of minutes. To make matters worse, the pitch was wet and extremely muddy, so the game quickly degenerated into a highly attritional affair notable more for graft, work rate and tackle accuracy than attacking flair.

Fortunately, this is precisely the type of game the Bastards love. As the half wore on Hammersmith began to grind down their opponents and the pack’s excellent work rate gained both territory and possession. A couple of penalties were missed by the otherwise excellent Ollie Weaver before a scrum in Camberley’s 22 produced a crisp blindside move for Sam Nursey to finish. 5-5

Encouraged, Hammersmith grew into the game and the forwards began to gain the upper hand. Some powerful attacks around the fringes and a dominant maul brought Hammersmith once again into Camberley’s 22. To their credit, Camberley would not fold and both teams were dead on their feet when the home side cleared their lines to precisely the wrong man: Sam Nursey. Cutting a swathe through five Camberley defenders he dotted down for a second score converted by Weaver. 5-12.

The half ended with Camberley in the ascendency despite being miraculously held up over the line with the final play of the half. In the second half, Hammersmith promptly produced what can only be described as thirty minutes of poor rugby. Error, penalties and the loss of the physical Jack Mooney (concussed) meant that the away side conceded two tries; one a well-executed chip and chase following a missed tackle, another from Camberley consistently camping in Hammersmith’s 22. 17-12.

The Bastards were down, running out of time and needed something heroic. Fortunately, their pack is made of eight heroes. A charge down in a rare venture into Camberley’s 22 suddenly put Hammers on their five meter line. Trench warfare promptly ensued, with powerful carries by Paddy O’Toole and Dan Ah Kuoi setting up Ed Wynne to cap an excellent game with a try from close range. Weaver nailed the conversion from out wide to put the Bastards 17-19 ahead.

The scene was set for a classic Bastards win. The defensive work rate in this period had been nothing short of brilliant and credit must be given to Lucas Sopher for continuing to put in hits and refusing to leave the pitch despite a nasty back injury. As the game drew into its final minutes it seemed Hammersmith may once again snatch victory from defeat only for REDACTED to give away a penalty in the final play of the game. From close to forty meters, Camberley’s Andy-Goode lookalike fly half lined up a shot to win… and missed.

Cue rapture from the Hammersmith players, somehow victors due to a potent mixture of determination, bravery and pure bastardness.

MotM: Ed Wynne

DoD: Sam Smith