The day was Saturday the 23^rd of April year of our lord 2022, it was a warm April day dry and about 20 degrees at Ruislip RFC where this titanic season decider was to take place. The warm weather was fuelling the high spirits, Nugget had even ditched his formal evening Merrell hiking boots for a more mobile blue running shoe, and Lorne was already looking for sun cream.

Despite Lorne’s best impression of a lobster the excitement was building, run throughs were looking sharp and limbs were loose for some running rugby! Mike Cook gave a rousing talk to get the boys in the mood, his hair was also looking lovely having spent an hour getting it perfect for finals day.

The game kicked off at 15:21:23 GMT, and the ferocity and physicality early on depicted what type of game this will be. The game was moving fast, and so were the outside backs, moving like a cluster of antelopes and lots of meters being made in the wide channels, but ball retention and ruck speed letting ultimately us down. The wind against us was proving an issue, with a few of kicks to touch going backwards.

The first half was a tight contest and only an exchange of penalties from the reliable boot of Max Dugdale the scores were tied at 6-6. Despite this his brother Ben was still giving him abuse.

A few silly penalties allowed HAC into our 22, and after several phases of defence HAC, eventually, broke down the Hammers defence to score. A questionable knock on may have preceded the try, but hey, there were three officials so they wouldn’t miss that right? Conversion missed leaving the score 11-6 to HAC.

Fluids were taking on and spirits were high, the wind was going to be at our backs in this half, , but unfortunately we were also running up hill. So it was a bit of a catch 22.  Anyway the second half kicked off in the same manner as the first. Aggressive defence from both sides saw a few penalties from both sides. The ref pulled the captains over and warned that he was going to start to look towards a yellow for anymore cynical play. Now, I was performing my duties as hydration manager at this point, but I know that HAC scored, I just have no idea what happened. Anyway the conversion was missed taking the scores to 16 – 6 to HAC.

HAC could smell blood, and their tails were up. Hammers were guilty of trying to play out of their own half and conceded another penalty at the breakdown. Some strong running from the HAC forwards gave space for HAC back to score in the corner. Conversion missed again 21-6.

Hammersmith rallied, strong caring from Jordan Abbott put hammers on the front foot, quick ball saw the fleet footed Ed Haynes stride over the try line from the 22. Dugdale slotted a peach of a conversion from out wide. 21 – 13. Hope renewed for the Hammers.

You could see the rejuvenated sense of hope in the Hammers play, strong carrying and the ball sticking to hands almost like something out of the 1997 classic Flubber (What a film). In steps James Laylor. Now he had been tackling with his face most of the second half and it was beginning to show, as Laylor came in as the arrowhead of the Jack in the Hammers 22, to then preceded to pass the ball out of the back to no one. HAC defenders were quick to pounce on the loose ball and go over for a try under the sticks. Conversion made 28-13 to HAC.

After seeing this Sandy Duncan could not let James Laylor DOD beat his. Sandy was after an award of any sorts. Now there are questions over what actually happened but with less than 10 minutes remaining after entering a breakdown Sandy Duncan left it with a yellow card. What happened will be discussed for many moons.

After several strong attacking phases from the Hammersmith an unfortunate knock on saw the full time whistle blow. With HAC victorious this year. Heads held high the Hammers left the pitch and won the boat race (which was the only thing that mattered).

Final Score: HAC 28 – 13 Hammersmith and Fulham.

Man of the Match: Alexander Chong Kwan

DOD: James Laylor & Sandy Duncan (Both well deserved).

Wordsmith and Vice-captain of Hype: Christopher Ralph

The Hammers turned up on a glorious spring morning know they had something to prove, coming off the back on a poor result away down at Horsham, a result that was in no way a reflection of how the season had gone. On their part, Cobham arrived at Fortress Hurlingham off the back of a strong victory at home to Medway and were placed 7^th compared to the hosts 4th place.  With a big crowd down for Old Hams day, the beers and food digesting into the veins of the apprehensive crowd, the Hammers started well with an eloquent kick return from Peter ‘fleet foot’ Morris who burst through the open space of the lacklustre defence to offload out the back to Henry Martin who managed to collect the pass and dot down in the corner after 10 minutes. 5-0 to the men in red.

Cobham came back hard and fast and after some patient work, managed to power over after 16 mins, with the fly half missing his conversion. 5-5. Almost immediately from the kick off, Joe ‘Caravan’ Carolan found himself out on the left wing in acres of space to cruise past the first man in third gear before putting on the afterburners and cutting inside in 5^th to make the score 10-5. Like a well-oiled machine, the Caravan knew he had to impress, with a fleet of Caravans down to watch on the far side with a few plus 1s, wanting to show them what he was all about.

After some back and forth territory jousting, the Hammers kicked a penalty into the corner, leading to a well-constructed catch and drive maul before flinging the ball out wide. Up popped Tom Proctor with a quick pick and go, landing over the try like a flying salmon. This time the Caravan found his built-in dashboard sat nav and the Hammers took a deserved 17-5 lead.

Another excellent kick return after a lovely angle bending switch from Peter ‘snakehips’ Morris and Tim ‘Honeybadger’ Russell ended with a ball out wide, Caravan again taking the ‘goal-hanging’ plaudits, cutting inside and out again, evading the recent wave of Cobham stomach bugs with precision to dot down in the corner, another successful touchline conversion making it 24-5.

Into the second half and with a bonus point secured, it was an opportunity for the home side to really lay down one final marker in the penultimate game of the season.  However, after conceding some early penalties, Cobham managed to get their driving maul working effectively to score two well-constructed tries in quick succession. 24-15.

Back came the wave of red attacks, with Alex ‘Spice up your life’ Spicer carrying consistently well before the parting of the Cobham defence came, like Jesus parting the red sea, in the form of our very own man of God, Russell. Caravan with the conversion to take us to 31-15. Shortly after this, came a moment of madness by Prop Idol U16 candidate Jacob ‘One Blue’ Poulton, who gathered a spilled ball before launching it with his right boot towards the home fans, marginally avoiding a screaming baby. No surprises for the winner of the DOTD nomination.

Some fantastic breakdown work from a number of the Hammers men after a good Thursday night jackal session followed by a team social (but interrupted by an unnamed blond), and things were looking positive for a strong finish. Again, however, Cobham were only really interested in playing like that tight friend who never buys you a drink at the bar, and went over with another catch and drive maul, much to the disappointment of the fans who had come out on a lovely sunny spring day expecting some running rugby from both sides. 31-20.

More patient play from the men in red followed, before Matt ‘Knome’ Newman ran a lovely ‘Gregan’ line with the skipper extraordinaire who burst through the gap, carrying a couple of defenders with him before dotting down next to the posts. Another conversion taking the game to 38-20 and a very happy Caravan lady friend on the touchline. Some more nice play down the short side followed, again with Russell and Caravan combining before Newman received the offload and dotted down over the whitewash to take the score to 45-20.

The opposition then scored 14 unanswered points, but I think they were all from lineout mauls so not much further to add. A very good evening followed, as the touring blazers of HFRFC frequented a number of the local establishments until the early hours, with one member of the club posting on the club whatsapp group the following morning about a missing house mate. You’ll be pleased to hear Mr Howe, who teaches Year 7 Geography, was found without damage.

MOTM: Tim Russell

DOTD: Jacob Poulton

As league newcomers this season, none of us knew quite what to expect of a ‘home-based’ Hackney squad. Despite the entire 1st XV having to wake at the crack of dawn to travel beyond South West London (the horror) we arrived in East London to pleasantly discover that the grass could indeed be greener or at least softer outside of Fortress Hurlingham. The sun was out, the wind was low and Coach Andy wasn’t wearing shorts during the warm up. Already, we knew that today was going to be vastly different from the previous week’s match.

With the London Referee Society saving arguably the best referee we’ve had til the end of the season, Hammers infringements at the breakdown didn’t go unpunished and we spent the first 5 minutes backpedalling towards our tryline due to consistent penalties. With Hackney 5m away from a score, Hammers defence fully engaged and forced the turnover, allowing us to clear our lines and regain some control.

Hard carries from the forwards suckered in the oppo at one side of the pitch, giving Sirri the chance to spin the ball out wide. Deft hands from the backs safely delivered it out to Sasha on the wing. There was still a lot of ground to make up, but she made light work of this by goose-stepping her way around Hackney, across the pitch and over into the corner for a try. Game on.

Following a well-handled restart, the backs lit up the pitch with fine lines, accuracy and pace in attack. This led to Jess C smashing through the line, handing off several people in the face and powering through tackles to score near the posts. Support? Didn’t need it mate.
Chloe J added the extras and off we went again.

Hard work from everyone in defence forced a knock on for a Hammers scrum. The technical prowess of Hackney’s tight 5 meant that all scrums felt very much like we were running up a steep mountain in flip-flops.

Despite this, we secured the ball for as long as was needed to get quick ball out. Clever looping play got it towards the wing again, allowing Sasha to make another break. Tackled just metres short, a strong support line meant that Sophie T was perfectly placed to take the offload and dot down our third of the day.

With Hackney’s restart kick not quite making 10m we had a brief Mexican stand-off where neither side wanted to touch the ball. Time stood still. The crowd went silent. We all got a little more sunburnt. Fortunately for this match report, Hackney capitulated by touching the ball, allowing us to opt for a scrum on the halfway. Joy.

The brief rest clearly did everyone some good as we held the scrum and got the ball out, allowing Chloe E to run a clear straight line down the wing for our fourth. Boom.

HT score 22-0

It was great to be ahead but as the coaches noted, 40 mins is a long time in rugby. Nothing could be taken for granted. Time to kick things up a gear and secure the win.

With Hammers pressuring the Hackney attack, strong defensive work on the edges gave us a lineout just beyond the halfway line.

Ball secured, Sirri sent a well-aimed pass out to Tappers who smashed through the first defenders before popping off to Kaye who ran through the broken defensive line to score our fifth. Chloe J added the extras once again.

Good pressure from Lucy D from a Hackney lineout forced errors in open play. Another Tappers turnover got the ball out through the hands to Sasha for our sixth. Conversion nailed again by Chloe J

A break from the speedy Hackney winger got her deep into our half, but strong defence forced a knock on and a Hammers scrum on our 22. With the scrum moving backwards, Kaye momentarily forgot where she was on the pitch and picked and went. Through some miracle, tackles were evaded and following the slowest 100m dash in history, she crossed the line for our 7th try. Chloe J added the extras.

Securing the restart, the ball got to Tappers who (again) selflessly offloaded a cracking ball to fresh-off-the-bench Bukky who had a clear line to run in and score.
Chloe J got her points haul into double digits with another conversion.

With 10 mins to go, a beautiful catch from fullback Alex W had her weaving and dummying through the Hackney half. Drawing defenders in, she offloaded to Lily B who sprinted the final metres to score our ninth try of the day.

The closing minutes of the game saw a strong defensive effort as Hackney had no less than SEVEN attempts to get points on the board. We mauled, we rucked, Eve even threw her entire body under three Hackney players to stop a score. Final big effort from Tappers again who not only ripped the ball, but ran it almost 5 metres away from the line so we could safely kick into touch and end the game.

FT score 55-0

FOTM was Tappers for her try assists and superhuman defensive effort

BOTM was Sirri for her clever control of the backline and great decision-making

Tries x 9
Bukky x 1
Chloe E x 1
Jess C x 1
Kaye x 2
Lily x 1
Sasha x 2
Sophie T x 1

Conversions x 5
Chloe J x 5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a glorious day of rugby!

The sun was shining down on Fortress Hurlingham yesterday when the teams arrived to warm up. A warm up which was extended when the ref’s arrival was slightly delayed. But this delay didn’t impact the Hammers’ preparation, the team remaining focused, knowing that we needed to bring the intensity from the first whistle. And bring it we did with Kaye smashing her way over the Wimbledon line within the first 5 minutes. A lovely conversion by Chloe J was followed up by an equally lovely penalty kick to keep the scoreboard pressure on Wimbledon at 10-0. Hammers didn’t let up there with sustained pressure on the Wimbledon defense (including what was definitely a try by Katherine) ending with Ella crossing the whitewash, converted by Chloe to make it 17-0. Chloe E was next to get in on the action with her fast feet dancing past the Wimbledon backs to give us a 24-0 lead with Chloe J’s conversion. Strong work from the Hammers scrum put Wimbledon under more pressure in their own half and getting the ball to within a metre of the line. Strong pick and go work from the forwards ended with Charlotte hammering the ball over for a lovely score to end the first half 31-0.

The second half began as the first half finished with Chloe J this time the one to make the score. Hammers kept piling the pressure on in the Wimbledon half with excellent scrums and strong work in the breakdown keeping our ball secure. This pressure told with Tappers launching across the line to score, more than making up for her denied try in our last match. A conversion from Chloe J making it 43-0. Our discipline started to fray slightly in the last 10 minutes of the game with Wimbledon getting several penalties in a row, allowing  them to make ground into the Hammers 22. After an incredible defensive effort on the line, including a great Chloe E tackle that stopped a certain try, Wimbledon eventually managed to cross the line to score. Final score 43-5.

Forward(s) of the match – Fred and Candace for incredible work rates, strong carries and tackling

Back of the match – Chloe E for great kick chasing and follow up tackles to help keep the pressure on Wimbledon