As your author sits down after a tough day at work, kicking back with a cup of tea and some country music in the background, he reminisces on another Saturday at Hurlingham Park;

Hammers 2XV came into the weekend of a strangely disappointing to 0-22 victory at Old Haberdashers (Via Harpenden), where some poor execution and discipline cost us a precious bonus point which would have seen us top the Middlesex Premier Division, 1 point ahead of rivals Belsize Park II’s. But here we are, honours even, and everything to play for.

A few enforced changes through availability, injury and call ups to the 1st XV meant a much changed XV, with a new look pack and a very handsome 9/10 partnership. All of this meant absolutely nothing as we gave a penalty away straight off the kick off, before regaining the ball off the resulting line out, only to lose the ball again inside our 22, allowing Rosslyn Park to bundle over to open the scoring early on.

Rocket, meet arse. The boys got their acts together, the backs looking very slick off set plays, cutting through the RP defence at will, with Cillian Waldron cutting brilliant lines (when he caught the ball), hat trick hero Jack Hooper looking untouchable out wide and James Maddigan introducing anyone coming down his channel to his large shoulders and the inexplicably firm January turf.

Tries began to flow with a mixture of power in the forwards, namely MOTM Adam Scaff, who must have ended the match with 100 meters made from Kick Off returns alone; and slick hands coupled with dangerous running in the backs. Tries from Alex Hart, Captain Cook, Max Dugdale Ash Mitchell, Joe Crawley and Jack Hooper x 3 were complimented by 4 conversions from Ben Dugdale who contests he would have finished the day with 100% success off the tee, had the balls been regulation PSI. Special shoutout to debutant Hugh Symons, who helped himself to a slice of Cheddar in the first half for some cynical play around the breakdown, I’m sure it was deserved.

A lesser author would have waxed lyrical about their try, midway through the 2nd half, spotting a gap in the overfolding defence, stepping inside, spinning a defender and calmly finishing under the sticks. Alas, in reality it was a 4 on 2 and I probably should have passed, but did Tom Vardell become the Premiership All Time try-scorer by executing simple 4 on 2’s`? No he did not.

Some superb team play throughout the game could have led to some serious highlights for this report, only for someone to drop the ball or the ref to blow up for something else, just shy of the line. Jack Hooper scored the games best try, finding space on the outside, stepping through a few tackles and finishing well. It was a good team performance, with the defence a very pleasing highlight despite conceding 2 tries, with feeling in the camp after the game that this side still had another gear to go.

MOTM – Adam Scaff DOTD – Hugh Symons

Onwards to Regents Park this weekend where we will face fellow title challengers Belsize Park. Lets hope the tubes are running.

The day arrived with optimism a plenty as the highly anticipated away bus trip to Harpenden RFC (playing host to our opposition Old Hab’s due to waterlogged pitches) was only a matter of hours, maybe minutes away for the 20 men of Hammersmith and Fulham Rugby Football Club 2XV.

Unfortunately, like all great stories, life doesn’t always go to plan, and it seemed as if the protagonist at the local bus company decided to have a few too many bottles of Lambrini on his Friday night off. Minutes past, numerous trips to the 8 bells urinals followed, and with coffee disseminating through the bowels, still no bus. Captain Cook gathered the troops in a circle to deliver the fatal blow that no bus would be arriving, and that alternative forms of transport should be sourced to deliver the men to the boggy marshes of Harpenden RFC.

The local Uber drivers couldn’t believe their luck when the men came calling, with 100 quid each for 2 hours work, to fund the rest of their weekend behind the wheel, racing each other on the M1. A short and blunt warm up followed, with a few too many interjections from Conductor Nugget and the team were left with no choice but to try and deliver a 50-nil mauling of the opposition….

The Hammers men started well, dominating possession and territory, without much avail before Ricky ‘White Line Fever’ Drewitt got himself on the back of a rolling lineout maul before finding himself ‘held up’. Whilst the match adjudicator enjoyed his pre match discussion with the boys, he forgot to mention that his subscription to Specsavers had actually expired before Covid in 2019. Finally, after some slick hands from HFRFC’s answer to Damian McKenzie, the Hammers got their reward with a 5 pointer in the corner from the author of this report. Nothing else of note really happened in the first half so we will pause there.

At half time, a shuffle of the deck saw some changes to the back line, and the introduction to the field of the ‘stockier’ kamikaze twin, Max Dugdale, for his debut. With the opposition confused, the Dugdale’s started to bamboozle, and the ball started to go wider and wider, with more points following from Mr White Line Fever himself, who finished the game with a double. 22-0 to the boys with 5 to go, and one score needed for the coveted BP win. As the opposition pushed for any form of consolation, the author found himself on the floor, being pinned down by what can only be described as an angry testosterone fuelled young man, with 2 yellow cards following, and 2 DOTD nominations in the clubhouse. No more scores and the game finished like a damp squid, and with some disappointment from the Hammers men- hopefully this wouldn’t have any bearing when the season concludes in April.

What followed can only be described as an evening of wonderful entertainment, headed up by some excellent pirate jokes from Rich Vaughan, a dodgy impending intercourse story involving someone’s sister from an unnamed source, and some exquisite piano playing at Kings Cross St Pancras Station by Ben Osgood, followed by a good old game of ‘d* y** t*** i* u* the *******’ where every player got an opportunity to vent away the day’s frustrations on their fellow colleagues.

Full time: HFRFC 22-0 Old Habs

The Hammers headed down to London Cornish in the freezing cold with the expectation to come away with 5 points straightforward points, however, this became a trickier task due to Storm Arwin.  With Hammersmith losing the toss and being forced to play the first half uphill into the strong wind, they knew that they were in for a tough first 40.

Cornish started off very brightly with them coming close to scoring within the first 10 minutes, however, the Hammersmith defense could not be beaten.  Although the defense held strong and had forced Cornish back to the 22-metre line, a soft penalty was given away and Cornish opted to take the shot at goal, which they successfully converted and led 3-0.  Following the kick off Hammersmith’s discipline slipped and led to consecutive penalties being given away and thus more pressure being applied on the defense, although Cornish couldn’t turn this pressure into points, the frustration within the Hammersmith squad was piling up  This pressure was however was lifted on the 26^th minute when Rich Vaughan put on his dancing shoes and after receiving the ball on the right-hand wing stepped his way through 4 Cornish defenders to finish his run under the sticks and giving the Hammers the lead.  Joe Carolan with the conversion.  The rest of the half was sloppy with neither side looking close to scoring until Hammersmith on the cusp of halftime crossed the try line only to be held up by a fine piece of defense by London Cornish.

As the 2^nd half kicked off the Hammers knew that with the wind in their sails, they could play the free-flowing rugby that we all know and love.  After some consecutive phases and the Cornish defense being pulled left and right, the ball was spread wide one final time before a smart pass by Harry Scarr put Peter Bicknell away to score in the left-hand corner, Captain Carolan missed the tough conversion.  Shortly after the restart, Hammersmith applied further pressure and it didn’t take long for the debutant Ben Quaqua after running a smart line and bulldozing a couple of Cornish defenders to get over the line for Hammersmith’s 3^rd try, converted by Carolan.  There was no stopping the Hammers now, with another smart break down the right-wing Rich Vaughan threw a potentially forward offload along the floor to Ben Dugdale, who embraced his inner Ronaldo and fly hacked the ball past the last Cornish defender before dotting down.  Following the try, Cornish came back and started to once again to apply some pressure on Hammersmith, with some smart offloads taking them all the way into the Hammer’s 22.  Discipline once again was proving to be Hammer’s downfall and after numerous penalties, Steve John was shown yellow.  However, Cornish couldn’t make the extra man count and the pressure they were inflicting couldn’t be turned into points.

The final 15 minutes saw the Hammers put the contest to bed, after some fantastic attacking flair shown, Ben QuaQua went over the whitewash to add to his tally for the day.  The hattrick wasn’t far behind after some great lines run by the Hammer’s attack, QuaQua picked up off the base of a ruck and from 5 metres out he wasn’t to be stopped and bagged himself his debut hattrick.  Cornish did manage to get over the whitewash themselves, but this was simply a consolation try which was rather deserved.  The game was concluded Steve Joh caught the ball on the Cornish 22 and the defense parted like the Red Sea and he trundled in untouched.

Another good day at the office for Hammersmith & Fulham who are very much in the running for promotion this year and will be hoping to continue their fine run of form against a tough Horsham side next weekend.

Final Score – 47-10

On a brisk Saturday afternoon, the Hammers lads travelled away to Twyford Sports ground to face Wasps 2XV. A game where revenge was sought for the previous home defeat against a strong side. As the boys entered the grounds, harassed to pay an entrance fee (obviously the visible athleticism was going a miss), a noticeably large crowd awaits. Unfortunately for them, they were not there to witness Doug Maxwell’s finest Nicola Sturgeon look but the Ladies Premiership match.

Nonetheless, after a vigorous and loud warm up the Hammers’ team looked sharp and ready to face their opposition. With the game kicked off and the sun behind our backs, Hammers began to play some superb rugby, sticking to structure and stretching the opposition from touchline to touchline. After several phases, James Mitchell made a strong break through the smaller backline and great support play from Nick Turner resulted in a glorious try. Hammers’ increased their grip on the game with a length of the field effort from Matt Stevenson and a well worked try in the corner for George Nellany. Ed Haynes showed nimble footwork to step a number of Wasps’ defenders in space equivalent to a phone booth to race away for a try. Matt Stevenson managed another try, created through hard work from the forward pack, carrying hard to get front foot ball. Some crunching hits form Matt Durrant and Jakob Terry to name a few, provided the boys’ with great spirit and left Wasps’ dazed and clueless as to how to make breaks. Adam Heaps managed a solo effort, dummying his opposing number before rounding the fullback and showing some unexpected wheels. Replacements came a calling just before the sliced orange break with Matt Stevenson making an impressive solo break, only to go down like he had been shot by a sniper

The second half brought about the challenge of playing into a blinding sun and against a challenging wind. Wasps rejuvenated by the half time break managed to string together some promising phases of rugby, even managing to cross the Hammers’ line only to have it called held up. Hammers’ scramble defence was on full show throughout the early stages of the 2^nd half. Unfortunately, a run of successive team penalties and Adam Heaps getting pinged for a high tackle led to the fly half getting put in the sin bin. As Adam went off and take up role of nominated team medic, the rest of the team held firm, riding out the opposition’s pressure. Even down to 14, the Hammersmith and Fulham boys managed to run in another 2 tries by Ed Haynes including a great defensive read leading to an intercept and 2 for Jamie Drysdale. Wasps’ hampered by a Tyson Fury wannabe (red card) managed to sneak a consolation try to finish the game 62-5.

A great win for the boys in red and thoroughly enjoyable to get one back from earlier in the season. Onto the next week before a well earned Christmas drinking break.

Tries: Nick Turner, Matt Stevenson x2, George Nellany, Adam Heaps, Ed Haynes x3 , Jamie Drysdale x2

Conversions: Steve Danby x 6

Man of the Match: Will Parker

DOD: Adam Heaps

This was no weather to be outside and some would have rather spent this Saturday watching Netflix. The temperature was close to freezing, the rain was lashing the faces and the wind was blowing the flags off the pitch. It was rumoured that some Hammers, despite being on the team sheet, had preferred to stay at home in the warmth, fortunately others were called up at the last minute and rallied to the hammers cause.

With condensation on their Movember moustaches, the Hammers 3s were ready to defend the fortress Hurlingham. Starting the game into the terrible wind of storm Arwen and despite some valiant kicking, it was almost impossible for us to get out of our half. The conditions were difficult for both teams: poor passing, lots of knock-ons. But no excuses, the weather is the same for both teams, it’s winter rugby after all. Hampstead used the wind to keep the Hammers penned in and scored a try (after a fortunate bounce on a kick after sustained pressure on strong defence) and pressed the advantage using the wind to seal a couple of penalties. We were behind at the break, without having scored a single point.

Half Time Hammers 0 – Hampstead 16

In the second half we had the wind with us and with the help of some good touches, a solid scrum and some good mauls, we gradually started to gain the ascendancy. The main turning point of the game came when Ed Hayes had a break through running halfway to the edge of Hampstead’s 22 popping it from the floor for the team captain (in a rare spate of running for a front row forward) to go over and get us on the board. It put the fight back in the lads and the real hammers heart came through. The next try came from a hammers lineout on the opposition 5 with the maul going over with Nick Turner putting it down topping off a great day for the front row. The pressure was then on and a good use of the boot kept the lads down in Hampstead’s half. Eventually Hampstead had to relent to that pressure resulting in Ben England going over in a convertible position, which Steve Danby stepped up to the plate and slotted.

Hammers 17 – Hampstead 16 less than ten minutes to go the tension was cutting.

From the kick off we returned the ball to Hampstead’s  22 well and kept it there to ground out a 1 point victory. Got there in the end and the teams place at the top of the league continues, the Lads retired to the Wolf pack to escape the weather and for well fought for Beers at the Hammers Charity night.