Men’s Match Report – Page 13 – Hammersmith & Fulham RFC

Hammers 1st XV take it the last play against Medway

8th October 2021/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

The Hammer’s third league game of the season saw them travel to Medway RFC down in Rochester, Kent. Having finished fourth in London 1 South in the perennial season, the hosts have continued to show their impressive form with two bonus point wins over KCS Old Boys and London Irish Wild Geese. It would be a tough day for the Hammers and they knew they had to come out firing, following slightly sluggish starts in their previous games.

The first coach trip of the season consisted of a tremendous quiz, hosted by the noble Jacob Poulton. It was a bright and sunny afternoon, perfect for a Hammers game, as the coach rolled into Priestfields and there was already the murmuring of a crowd as the teams warmed up.

New first team captain, Joe Carolan got the game underway and Medway took possession of the ball despite having the sun in their eyes. The Hammers showed great heart in the first five minutes and their defence kept Medway trapped inside their own 22. Following some aerial tennis with some precise kicking from both teams, including an unintentional but exceptional 50-22 from Owen Bennett, the ball fell to Hammers left wing James Lo. He latched onto his own grubber kick and dotted down for an early try. The Hammers had turned up and were eager to make a game of it. Joe Carolan missed conversion, 5 – 0.

After the restart, the Hammers conceded a few penalties and were slowly marched up the field but a superb spiral from Joe Carolan sent the Medway winger chasing the ball back into his own 22, the Hammers really taking advantage of the new laws and were awarded a lineout. With great guile, J-Lo took a quick lineout and sent Jacob Poulton over the line for the Hammers second try. Joe Carolan missed conversion, 10 – 0.

The Hammers were really showing their class by this point and with the better start behind them tried to turn the screw to finish the game off early. However Medway had other ideas, relying on their imposing pack, strong carries slowly saw them march back up the pitch. When a penalty was awarded within kicking distance they took full opportunity and it was coolly slotted home to make it 10 – 3.

The Hammers were aware of Medway’s strengths but could do nothing to prevent it from repeating; another penalty conceded made it 10-6. Medway showed some impressive scrummaging in the process. The Hammers promising start was not being reflected by the scoreboard and they were becoming slightly frustrated.

From the ensuing restart, winger Tim Russell forced a knock on to win the Hammers a scrum just past the ten-metre line. A good push from the Hammers forwards gave Ben Dugdale a good platform to deliver the ball to Tim Russell, standing at first receiver, who attacked the Medway back line at speed with Mike Lavery on his left. With quick feet and his luscious locks, he burst through a gap and was one-on-one with the opposing fullback. Tackled several metres short of the try-line, he produced a delightful offload to the supporting Mike Lavery who scored just left of the posts. Joe Carolan missed conversion, 15 – 6.

Such champagne rugby was short-lived by the Hammers and after a tussle of territory in the middle of the park; the Hammers were ill-disciplined and gave away several penalties in the scrum and for being offside. Medway collected another three points, the boot turning out to be a decisive weapon for them, 15 – 9. Although the Hammers had scored three tries they were only six points ahead and there was a sense of missed chances growing.

In the dying embers of the first half, a break on the left wing for Medway resulted in a dubious ‘deliberate’ knock on from Rory Cardwell and he was, well, carded. His surname, an easy pun there, sorry. The Hammers replaced Owen Bennett with Ash Mitchell to match the numbers of the Medway pack. Medway kicked to touch and their lineout caught the Hammers defence out, a short throw to the first man who passed it back to their hooker to run over for their first try of the day. A missed conversion made it 15-14 to the visitors at the break.

With eight minutes still left on the sin-bin, Medway took full advantage of their extra man and with help from Hammers’ poor tackling the Medway backs scored two tries in quick succession. The first was converted, the second missed. As the Hammers returned to a full outfit of fifteen players, they were suddenly faced with the reality of being 26 – 15 down. Hammers would now have to show great resilience to overturn this Medway side, notorious for being strong at home. Substitutions: Marshall Macleod replaced J-Lo and went to fullback, Ricky Drewitt for Angus Brown at hooker.

The game was now heating up and there were some big hits being put in from both teams; Harry Scarr, Andrew Rogan and Pete Bicknell supplying some memorable shots. Several times a lack of depth and unfortunate dropped balls prevented the Hammers from releasing their swift backline. Frustration was growing. But the promise was there and it wasn’t long before good hands allowed Marshall Macleod to outstrip several Medway players on the right wing. With clear intent he powered towards the line and managed to apply sufficient downwards pressure for the referee to award the try, despite vocal protests from the crowd. Joe Carolan kicked a meteoric conversion from the touchline, 26 – 22.

The game was separated by four points and surging with intensity. A Medway yellow card opened the door for the Hammers to push for the win. Medway were now confined to the own 22 and struggled to escape, the Hammers mounting considerable pressure. Several penalties in favour of the Hammers paved way for the left foot of Mike Lavery to pin Medway back. But with each Hammers attack, Medway had an answer and refused to let them in.

After tenacious carries from the Hammers pack, Medway were narrow and sucked into the rucks meaning the Hammers had numbers of both sides of the pitch. In the last play of the game, the Hammers backs were screaming for width on the ball and either way should have delivered a winning try. The Hammers went left but were caught out by an intercept from a Medway lock. The forward galloped down the wing with the Medway crowd cheering him on in search for a try bonus point. From the other wing Marshall Macleod and Tim Russell desperately set off, reeling in their opponent with every step. It was the substitute who managed to slap the ball into touch and forced the referee to blow his whistle for the end of the game. Drama until the very end, it was an extremely relieved Medway crowd who knew they were fortunate to win the game.

Bonus points for scoring four tries and finishing less than seven behind Medway meant that the Hammers left Priestfields with two points, instead of five. Special mention to Alex Spicer for an outstanding debut for the Hammers.

Player of the Match – Harry Scarr (Defiant tackling and aggressive carries)

Hammers 1sts disappoint against KCS

7th October 2021/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

On a sunny September Saturday london’s friendliest club made their way to a club from London- KCS Old Boys on this occasion. Off the back of a promising win against Camberley on debut in London 1; the mood echoed the weather and after a warm-up where line-outs were hit and backs moves were executed, the boys were confident of a result. Unfortunately, this was probably as good as the mood got on the day and to be honest there was not much of any note to be taken from the following 80 minutes.

The early exchanges were dominated by the Hammers consistency- consistently not clearing rucks, dropping balls and defensive clangers. The Old Boys somehow managed to capitalise on this fine start by the Hammers with a one out runner splitting the centres and giving the scorers their first work of the day. Coach Mark introducing the home crowd to some subtleties of the English Language on the touchline. 5-0 .Before long they had doubled this to 10. Can’t quite remember how this happened but it was probably a catch and drive or something; that’s this new set-piece thing that teams in London 1 are trying out this year. I’m sure we’ll crack it eventually.

Rarer than a steak fried for a minute either side- some clean ball from the scrum facilitated by Andrew Regan pushing and shoving allowed Ross Anderson to unleash the backs. This clean ball, coupled with another London 1 winger gazing longingly at Tim Russell’s luscious locks gave just enough time and space for Tim to break down the edge. A supportive line from Marshall Mcleod allowed the Scot to gallop over under the sticks; a rare highpoint for the Hammers in a largely turgid affair. The Caravan added the extras. 10-7.

Penalties were exchanged leaving the score 13-10 at half-time. Leaving all to play for in the second half.

It’s fair to say there was a rocket of sorts shot up the backsides of the lads at half time. Whilst defence was tightened -led by the ascendant Harry Scarr- and phases were sort of put together, there really isn’t much to write for the following 40 minutes. Interest was piqued for the home crowd when a quick tap from the Old Boys outside half identifying Hammers only having a local Tory MP and a Hobbit on the right hand side. They subsequently went coast to coast and recorded the only score of the second half. 20-10.

The rest of the game was largely played out with scrum after scrum largely to the dismay of the backs and 99% of people watching. The arousal of the 6 front rowers going hammer and tong was palpable and probably marks a highpoint on a pretty rough day at the office. Final score 20-10.

It would be hard to write a match report without including our departing leader Josh Mcclean. In the words of Salt-N-Pepa, ‘what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man’. Arguably not the send off worthy of a great man, but it’s fair to say what the club has achieved with him steering the ship is nothing short of remarkable. All the best up in Sheffield Big guy! Some significant boots to fill for Joe Caravan, I personally cannot wait to hear his version of ‘nothing from me’ when asked if he has anything to add at training.

The Hammers face a tough trip to Medway in 2 weeks time; this will be a real indicator of character and the boys will be looking for a response.

Hammers 3rds overcome a spirited Grasshoppers

7th October 2021/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

It was on a wet and rainy October the 2^nd that Hammersmith 3s were getting ready to play their first game of the season at fortress Hurlingham. Today’s lamb to the slaughter: the Grasshoppers RFC that, after suffering a severe beating during pre-season, were out for revenge. However, as will soon be obvious, they were no match against the all-fearing all-conquering Hammers team of that day.

Despite the harsh conditions, spirits were high and captain Jones made sure that the goal of today’s game was clear for everyone: take names, make a statement, and contribute to what was soon to be called the 4 out of 4 weekend. After a solid and necessary warm-up, and a quick gathering in changing rooms, the team was on the pitch ready to rumble.

With the wind on our side during first half, kick-off was long and quickly enough Hammers were in the place they wouldn’t leave for the whole of the first half: the opposition’s 22. After a good defensive phase and some ball-handling errors from Grasshoppers, Hammers had re-gathered the ball. Some solid carries of the forwards later, the ball was played out wide quickly where Sandy was able so send Sam straight through the middle for his 1^st (of many) try of the day! Then followed an extended period of time during which Hammers neither left the other team’s camp nor managed to score any points. A lack of discipline, as well as solid scrums and lineouts from the Grasshoppers were to blame for these unacceptably meagre spoils. The team nevertheless re-focused and was able to materialise their dominance in the form of two tries right before half-time: Adam in the middle and Jamal out on the wing.

Half-time score: 19-0.

At that point Hammers were feeling confident and knew that the game was theirs for the taking, even with the wind against us and conditions getting worst. In fact, what began as a light drizzle had turned into a proper shower, or what the Irish call ‘barbecue weather’, to the great damn of both the bench and the two valiant supporters that chose not to hide under the clubhouse and watch the 1s.

Right after kick-off the team was already cornered in their 22s and after a well-executed line-out Grasshoppers managed to score their first try of the game. Hammers knew they had to regain momentum quickly, but the opposition could feel they had (literally) the wind at their back and had returned close to our line. Once again discipline was lacking and after some tackles too high and not aggressive enough, Hammers conceded another try. This turn of events was not acceptable, and the team made sure to get back to it with a renewed intensity. Our fitness superiority and the entrance of the bench made it that we quickly regained the upper-hand, and soon enough Hammers were back where they belonged. The rest of this game is a bit of a blur as I was actually on the pitch, and because tries were lining up too fast for me to follow. The opposition had seemingly given up and Hammers were just too fit, too fast and too furious to handle. Sam -the Vaseline – Nursery got another couple tries under his belt after some magnificent runs, as did Adam straight after kick-off. Isaac finally finished them off with a great run and an even greater final dummy for maximal disrespect.

Strong performance for the 3s’ first game at home and a great weekend for the club!

Final Score : 48-13

MoM : Sam Nursery | DoD : Seb Money

Hammers 4s XV Triumph in a Torturous Tempest over a Fierce Feltham

7th October 2021/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

Hammersmith and Fulham 4s XV went into Saturday having recorded back-to-back losses, amounting to the team’s worst start to a season for four years. Yet, in a week where petrol was scarcer than veterans at training, nothing would prevent the Hammers from turning up in droves to right the wrongs of previous weeks.

So focused on the mission at hand was Marsh, and so keen to flaunt his back-to-school plimsols, that bringing appropriate footwear was no longer a significant concern. With the team assembled, and boots adequately redistributed, a storm was coming to Feltham.

Literally, a storm was brewing. As if Steve “Scotty T” Danby had summoned the mighty Zeus himself with his rousing words and sultry Geordie twang, a biblical tempest gathered over the outer reaches of West London.

Kicking into the wind to start the game, Hammers fly-half, Nick Emmett, bounced the ball along the ground to only just make it past 10. What appeared to the untrained eye to be a pathetic fumble of a kick, was indeed a beautiful masterstroke from the well-versed veteran to nullify the, now, gale-force winds.

A strong defensive set in the Feltham half and penalty turn-over won the ball back and put the Hammers on the front foot. Kicking to the corner, the ever-wise Emmett deciding to get the ball off the ground this time, the Hammers threatened an attacking lineout.

Three Feltham turnovers and re-entries into the 22 later, Marsh, on debut and feeling the 99-agility of his recently borrowed boots, dropped a shoulder to cross the whitewash and score the opening points of the game.

0-7 to the visitors. A good start.

With a pack size to rival the Springboks, Feltham came back swinging, crashing time and again upon the Hammers defence. After 5 minutes of relentless pressure, the flood defences gave out. The sluice gates opened and Feltham trundled over the line.

5-7

For the subsequent 20 minutes, a period characterised by knock-ons, forward passes and lost balls in contact, either the Hammers backs hadn’t cleaned the hair-pomade from their pre-match ritual off their hands, or the weather was starting to take its toll.

Pacey debutant Dan Chirwa dropped a pass from Jamie Drysdale, who had boshed through the Feltham centres, to squander a 2 vs. 1 on the fullback and an undeniable try-scoring opportunity. Such was the apparent error, that when gifted exactly the same opportunity 5 minutes later, Drysdale flagrantly ignored Chirwa’s cries and put ball to laces rather than risk the apparent danger of another pass in those conditions.

Late in the half and exploiting Feltham’s eagerness to “Fold the 9” (as was overheard several times), Tomos withheld his offload from the top of an attacking line-out, jumped to the floor and simply strolled through the Feltham pack cross the line without challenge.

12-5 at half time.

Forced changes to the Hammers 9/10 combination on either side of half time due to injury seemed to cause confusion, as the ball was suddenly finding its way to the wing without hitting the turf. With another debutant Ollie Boulton filling in at 9, and the revelations of what was possible, Hammers discovered an entirely new region of the pitch – the 15-metre line.

Now, to be honest, I don’t remember much of the second half because I spent most of it gasping for oxygen like a fish out of water (pretty sure I’ve missed a try in here somewhere, sincere apologies Ed Haynes), but from what could be discerned between frantic breaths, the Hammers had discovered their Joue Joue.

Apparently fresh off watching a Quade Cooper highlights reel, Ollie Boulton threw shoulders left and right to weave through the Feltham pack for another try. In the dying embers of the game, again appearing as the protagonist in our tale, Marsh (playing 8 by the way) cleared his own lines with a monstrous kick to an isolated Feltham forward, only to recollect the ball himself and offload to a charging Scotty T who topped off an ultimate breakaway try.

Final score: 5-36

With a roster of scorers spread across many positions, strong performances from a string of debutants playing out of position, and a genuinely impressive 50% conversion rate in ungodly conditions, the 4s displayed their strength in depth and unity as a team. Bring on the rest of the season!

Hammers 2nd XV vs London Cornish

7th October 2021/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

Hammersmith and Fulham 2’s made the favourably short journey of 7 mins down the A3 to play London (eaten too many) Cornish pasties at the Richardson Evans Memorial Playing Fields. Blustery and wet conditions made no excuses. Mitch Lewis got the 2s off to a tepid start via a quick change of direction drop-kick off that didn’t even make it 10 unfortunately.

What Cornish lacked in numbers (13 players) they made up for in brute force as the Hammers found themselves pinned in their own half for the first 20-30 mins eventually leading to a maul-driven try by Cornish in the corner. The windy conditions thankfully meant this try went unconverted 5-0, and the Hammers turgid start finally turnaround after playing some actual rugby resulting in a try to 2s debutant Joe Crawley danced his way through two Cornish players before hurdling their prop to dot down, this was duly converted by Ben Dugdale, our terrier-like dogged halfback, with the sides going in at halftime 5-12 to the Hammers.

In the second half, the Hammers numerical advantage and fitness finally started to pay dividends, which were further compounded due to additional injuries to the Cornish team. Starting the match with a front-row that looked like something you’d find in Terry’s Lost-and-Found bin at the clubhouse, a front three of Whittingham, Reuben “Please Don’t Deport Me” Hernandez, and Johnson actually held their own against a former Cornish 1s prop duo who came in at a whopping 120kg and 130kg respectively. They simply looked as though they had eaten the existing 2s front row and taken their places.

Unforced errors, a lack of discipline across the park, and half a dozen knock-ons from the backs in wet and blustery condition were the key issues for 2s which resulted in Cook, Imfeld and Hernandez having to step in as makeshift centres to eventually play through Vaughan for his second try of the day following a good run from Cook through the midfield. Following a short dry spell Mitch pulled off a cross field kick and with a faithful bounce it landed in the hands of Morgan who sensed white line fever whilst being chased down so started to slide in from the 5m line but even he was unsure if he grounded fully.

However, it was Lalor who was simultaneously both the best and worst in the same passage of play after dropping the ball from a kick-off, somehow managed to avoid knocking it on only to then grubber kick the ball 30 yards, pick it up himself and pass to play in our resident Kiwi Bryce “Up the Bok” Morgan for his second try. He was duly advised by his fellow forwards to cut out that razzle-dazzle nonsense moving forward, else he’ll have got dick of the day.

Ed Donovan received Man of The Match after 4 years out of rugby lasted 80mins and Hernandez, despite similar strong efforts on the loose head side, received Dick of the Day (again!) after giving away a penalty due to a high tackle for the second week running, albeit narrowly escaping a yellow card this time due to mitigating factors.

All in all, quite a lot to improve on across the park, but the 2’s remain undefeated and finished out the match as 38-5 winners.

Hammers continue their winning ways

16th March 2020/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

On Saturday 7^th March, Hammers made the coach journey north to play Welwyn in a rearranged fixture, the original postponed due to heavy rains and waterlogged pitches. Having been humbled at the hands of our Garden Centre friends in the corresponding fixture last year, this time round the back stories were very different: Hammers sat in 2^nd place, chasing promotion, whilst Welwyn are in the dog fight at the of foot the table that we know only too well.

The weekend was previously earmarked as an “off week” and we were without a couple of first team regulars- those in the team fortunate enough to have other friends and a social life (or, in Alex Hart’s case, a date with a Granny). Pleasingly, the depth to our squad meant we were able to call up very capable replacements. One such replacement was Marshall “nice tie” MacLeod, who pitched up dressed like a school work experience student, but will have impressed the boss on his first XV debut (more on that later). Iain Downie and Joe Healy made their first starts. The latter coming good on his promise to take Rogan’s position, leaving our club captain to supervise the valuables bag on the sidelines, a role he takes very seriously.

Welwyn kicked off the first half, playing away from the club house. The sky was grey, but holding firm, and there was just a light wind blowing across the pitch. A sizeable Welwyn support was in attendance hoping to see their team get the win to salvage their season. We had Ash. And it was the Welwyn support, rather than Ash, who had the first thing to cheer about. Ten minutes in, possession was coughed up by the backs- *spoiler alert- this will be an ongoing theme *. On this occasion it was via a loose clearance kick and the Welwyn back line countered. A neat chip forward by the Welwyn right winger bounced awkwardly, deceiving the chasing Hammersmith players, and he regathered before dotting over. Not a good start. On the Touch line smoke billowed from Coach Jacko’s ears. Rogan had missed it. He was watching the valuables bag.

The conversion went wide- *spoiler alert- ongoing theme*- and play was resumed with the Hammers very keen to make amends for the slow start. Steve John, the clubs second best doctor, carried hard in his usual fashion and as the team started to play the structure, the Welwyn defence opened up. Prop Joe Healy found himself through a hole and into daylight, somewhat to the surprise of his teammates, but unfortunately, like several other similar opportunities, the Hammers failed to capitalize.

And Hammers were lucky not find themselves another try down when, amidst a pile of bodies over the Hammer’s try line, it looked like Welwyn’s Alex Gee-esque winger had grounded the ball. The referee didn’t see it- a let off for Hammers. The smoke cloud above Jacko’s head was expanding. Rogan wasn’t sure what happened. He still had his eyes firmly on the valuables bag.

Next was another collective groan from the Hammers faithful (Ash) when debutant fly half Marsh took a hard knock to the head, and seemed to be struggling. Our physio assessed him and was happy for Marsh to go on. The referee, however, wasn’t as convinced, and requested Marsh to jog 2 steps forwards then 5 steps backwards, before giving him his blessing. An unconventional HIA, but an outcome we welcomed.

From this point, Hammers started to take hold of the game. An overthrow from a Welwyn lineout in their own 22 bounced into the hands of Steve, the second best doctor, and he had a clear run in to the line. Even the recently single Ben Hatton couldn’t not convert. 5-7. What followed was a frustrating period where Hammers strung together a lot of good play but didn’t finish the chances. The doctors exchanged offloads, and the second rows, Xander and Josh, carried hard. Cale “I’ll come back now Hammers are second” Holmes harried well around the rucks, and Rogan, who due to an administrative error had found himself relieved of his valuables bag duties, executed the perfect “plus one”.

Unfortunately, a rugby team is 47% backs, and it seemed their basic skills were alluding them. Whilst our props were plus one-ing exquisitely, a back- who doesn’t currently have a plus one- Ben Hatton, was struggling to master the simple hand catch. On one such occasion, the forwards broke in the midfield, trading a series of delightful passes out of the tackle. Up the field the Hammers surged, the Welwyn defence sucked in, the overlap was on. Scrum half to Flyhalf. Pass and catch completed. Flyhalf to Inside centre. Pass and catch completed. So far so good. Inside centre to outside centre. This is going really well. Outside centre to Ben Hatton. Fumbled. Normality resumed. Try of the season cancelled. This was to be a repeating pattern. I recall that at one point, the ball was even passed straight into touch- a back believing that thin air would have more chance of executing the catch than his outside man.

Anyway, before this report becomes more negative than Pete Benson at a toddler’s birthday party, and longer and more drivelling than an Alex Gee team talk, I’m going to stop “back-bashing” and speed it up: We went on to score 6 further tries and play some decent rugby intermittently. Second on the score board was Cillian Waldron who intercepted in the Hammers half. The run-in was labored but he made it. Hatton did not make the kick. 5-10.

Next was J-Lo, who over the years has scored for fun despite his unconventional style of moving like the knight on a chess board: 2 steps horizontally for each step forwards. To quote the man himself (as I can’t remember): “right hand side, 40 out, ran in hard, handed off their 7 in the face and just turned on the Nos. It was a deadly mix of power and pace”. The same cannot be said for Hatton’s missed conversation. Northerner Purv chalked Hammers’ 4th. Again, I can’t remember what happened (I tend to look away when the backs get the ball) so here’s his account: “Aye oop! Ball came t’Iain, who passed t’ ‘atton who fed me t’dive acrobat’cally int’ corner. Ta ta.” (that’s how Northerners speak, right?!). Not converted.

After the break Iain Downie got try number 6. The scrum half who’d moved house at 11am that morning, 1 hour before the team bus departed, showing similar quick speed of thought to pick and go, throw the dummy and go over the whitewash. A Hatton slice and hook cancelled each other out and the ball accidentally sailed over the posts for a rare conversion. Next up was Xander who galloped under the sticks after supporting a Steve John break and offload. J-lo scuffed the quick drop goal. Not sure why it was even attempted- a strong DOTD contender.

The last try was scored by yours truly thanks to some guile from Hammersmith front rower/ Tory back bencher, Jacob “Reece Mogg” Poulton. Hammers were awarded a penalty 5m out and jolly Jacob called a quick tap. His swift hands found me in-between two defenders. I didn’t pass (rarely do), stuck my head down and barreled over. On a very slight angle, 15m in from the touch line, the kick proved too difficult.

There were no further scores from either team. Welwyn found their second wind in the final quarter and, had it not been for Marsh’s fantastic chase back and covering tackle, and a couple of vital Second Best Doctor turnovers, they may well have pinched one back at the end. But they didn’t and the final whistle was blown. Final score 39-5. The sheepish looks as we shuffled into the team huddle with Jacko at the end said it all- we knew we’d been far off our best. However, it could be argued 7 tries and a bonus point win on an “off day’ ain’t bad.

This past week’s current affairs have been eventful to say the least. With a pandemic upon as and with major sporting competitions around the country falling one by one, it may only be a matter of time before London North West 2 experiences a similar fate. In these uncertain times, this could be the last match report for a while. What is certain though, is that whenever we next play: Rogan will still know where the valuables bag is, Hatton will still be dropping balls, and Hammers will still be chasing down London Welsh. And we’re going to catch them.

MOTM- Zander Stephen (strong carries and hard work)

DOTD- Ben Hatton (see above)

Hammers grind out a win against a tough Luton side

6th March 2020/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

Hammersmith and Fulham 1st XV came in to this fixture as the only team in the club with a fixture as Storm Jorge forced waterlogged pitches and sauce related issues in the W4 area.

With no Megaboss’ mega bus quiz to entertain the travelling bus, Ross Anderson treated those who could understand him to 5 fun facts about Luton. To translate, it has an airport and something about a TV advert.

Upon arrival the forwards and backs split in to seperate changing rooms, with the backs using this time to compare the bulk bought blue boots and share their industrial strength hair products. The forwards all sat in the corner doing whatever Joe Healey told them to.

Ben ‘the Hattonater’ Hatton pried himself away from the friend zone to join the team in Luton and got proceedings underway for the visitors. Luton retained possession before a sloppy pass resulted in Joel Caravan capitalising and kicking through. Unfortunately for Joel, the handbrake appeared to still be on for the motorhome as Ash ‘he’s me Dad’ Mitchell raced ahead to win the penalty. The Hatonater took the 3 points.

Hammers took the kick off and dominated the next period. Returning to the Luton 22, the clubs resident Georgian Alex Gee outpaced/boshed [delete as appropriate] his opposite man to make the score 8-0. The Hattonater added the 2.

The prevailing wind from the M1 was blowing in favour of the South West London side as they returned to the red zone. After a number of pick and goes, Josh McLean yet again found himself in the right place at the right time and flopped over from 20cms to add to his ever growing try tally.

The Bedfordshire side had obviously heard about the exceptional NHS talent in the Cockney ranks and looked to take advantage with 2 injuries in a short space of time. Unfortunately for them, the doctors had remained in the capital to continue spending their increased post-Brexit salary.

As the Georgian national team look to infiltrate the 6 nations, The Georgian giant proved the nations strength in depth. Just before half time, Alex Gee-nishvilli used the full force of his 102.6kg to power over for the visitors 3rd try.

20-0 half time.

The second half saw the arrival of 2 debutants in Rob Vaughan and Iain Downie. Vaughan made an instant impact, giving away a penalty resulting in the referee sending him straight back to the sideline. Down to 14 men, Luton saw the opportunity to capitalise with a chip over the top finding grass and being collected to cut the margin.

10 mins later, back up to full compliment, Hammers collected a line out on the Luton 22 to set up a driving maul. In a role reversal, the forwards delicately set up the foundations of the maul before the backs added the brute strength to force Lachy Skulander over for the try.

A few more chances for Hammersmith to extend their lead were not taken. Joe Healey couldn’t collect the ball from a blind side move, but in no way was this Healey’s fault and Anderson’s left handed seed was nearer the ankles than the clear target provided.

The match then proceeded to fizzle out with no more scores for either team however the sides were treated to a riled up Downie who arose from a late tackle liked a blood soaked Highlander before getting some calming words from his fellow Celts.

5 points is 5 points and Hammersmith and Fulham look forward to another trip north to Welwyn Garden Centre next week. Happy birthday to the Hattonater – hopefully your 27th year can bring an improved love life.

Hammers 3rd XV grind out an ugly win in tough conditions

25th February 2020/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

After a good win the week before, Hammers third XV travelled to the middle of nowhere to play a strong Feltham side that like us, were looking to secure a spot in the play offs come the end of the season. After a long walk through a swamp from the changing rooms to the pitch the 3’s spirits were lifted by an opposition who strolled out to do there warm up half an hour before kick off. With Strong winds blowing we knew that this wasn’t going to be the day for wild looping passes, and with some big lads in their pack we knew that tackling low was going to be important to stop them from getting over the game line.

In the first half Hammers had the wind behind us so we knew that we had to use it to our advantage to clear the ball from our lines. From the kick-off however, the hammers were put under pressure as catching the ball seemed to elude some of our players and Feltham regathered their own kick off. After several phases of pressure and some big runs from their NO8, hammers found themselves having to re-group under the posts. The conversion was pushed just wide of the posts and the score was 0-5.

Soon after our kick off and after some well placed kicks from full back Steve Harris, Hammers found their way into the opposition 22. After repeat pressure and some good hands from the backs, Tom McGurk found himself blasting over the try line for what was to be the first of two tries for the centre. With the conversion missed the scores were level at 5-5. Soon after this, Hammers were back in the oppo 22 and Gerky found himself barging over in the same spot he had crossed over only a few minutes earlier. Conversion missed and the score was 10-5 to Hammers. Not long before Half time Feltham got one back and with the conversion it was 10-10.

HT 10-10

With the wind Against us in the second half, Hammers know that ball retention was going to be important. Unfortunately, we seemed to enjoy throwing loopy passes to no-one which meant that Feltham were given a lot of easy possession and territory and it was only down to the amazing defence of the Hammers that they did not cross the try line. It took 30 minutes for the first try of the second try of the game to be scored. This time, Shaun Coitus – returning from injury – had an easy run on his first game of the season since his latest injury to make it 15-10. With Steve Harris making the conversion it was 17-10.

Feltham his back a few minutes later and scored an easy try after a penalties and missed passes allowed them an easy walk in to make it 17-15. From the re-start, Feltham again drove back down to the Hammers 22. The previous try had given them hope of a late comeback but a turnover from Captain Cook put an end to that dream. After winning the lineout, Hammers kicked the ball out to secure a scrappy 17-15 win. It wasn’t pretty, but Hammers know that they will need to improve on this performance ahead of their cup semi final away to Hampstead on the 29^th.

FT-17-15

Man of the Match: Tom Mohan for outstanding play.

Dick of the Day: Shaun Curtis for rollin around with cramp and Tom McGurk for Hattrick avoidance

Hammersmith & Fulham 2s go down stoically against Belsize Park

21st February 2020/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

It was a beautifully bright Saturday morning, with a blistering breeze shadowing the grounds at regent’s park. With a stacked Hammersmith & Fulham squad the boys were out in force with absolutely no late comers whatsoever. The boys were focused and looking to make it 2 on the trot after a glistening performance over Roslyn park the weekend prior.

Kicking off, with the wind at our backs, Captain Jack begins the mental games early with a territorial drop off bouncing into the oppositions touch, just short of the 22m line, Belsize ball. The first lineout of the game sees a hammersmith steal, allowing the boys begin a 15-minute stint of territory with slow, tactical phase play testing the relentless defence of the table leaders. The opposition hold out by the skin of their teeth, forcing a Hammers knock on, over the 5m line. With a brave exit & a quick lineout Belsize use the width of the field & ship the ball out, gaining quick yards & thus leading to the first try of the game. 7-0 Belsize.

Hammers angered by this sudden turn in the tide strike back with a well contested drop of, claimed back by the reds. With some experienced bossing of the forwards by Ed “wrinkly old man, somehow still playing rugby” Clarke, the chaps make quick work of the opposition defence & land us in their 22. Quick ball is littered out the back, Jack links up with foxy in a dazzling display of backs magic & foxy bags himself a meat pie. 7-7.

The remaining 10 minutes of the first half sees itself played on the Belsize 10m line. A back & forth exchange of possession with some great attacking prominence from the boys unfortunately leads to a sloppy Hammersmith penalty thus allowing Belsize to capitalise & convert, taking the lead into the second half. 10-7.

With the first half behind us, H & F had settled into the game well. We had dominated the majority of the 1^st half with some minor mistakes, all in all a great shift. The second half would turn out to be not so commandeering.

Now with the wind at their backs, Belsize began an unrelenting stint of aerial bombardment & territorial rugby, pinning us back into our own half where we would stay for the majority of the game remaining.

With a call to arms needed, we looked to the bench for some cavalry. After a gallant 1^st half performance German, Ferdi ”Augustus gloop” was battered & bruised…que a hopefully awe – inspiring Oliver “fat-man” Rae performance. His first challenge, the lineout. With the misses eyeing on from the side-line, Rae steps up, his belly cocked & loaded. Somehow forgetting that this is in fact a rugby game to which the ball must go straight, Rae delivers the ball straight into Clarky’s hands. Belsize ball. Her dreams of a knight in shining armour quickly fade away.

The remainder of the game is filled with patchy scattered defence, weakened by a yellow card for Mitch & some injuries to Hoops & Foxy. Not to worry as hammersmith’s star player Waldron fills in from wing to fullback to centre to form a formidable central partnership with the ravenous, extremely malnourished Rich vaughanzhaz, after a long Veganuary putting in some solid hits. However, this was not enough & scoreboard was ever increasing. Final Score 36-7

Hammers 3rd XV turn it up for a big win!

21st February 2020/in Men's Match Report, Senior News

It was Saturday afternoon is South West London and with Storm Dennis brewing to hit the Hammersmith and Fulham boys welcomed Ruislip to fortress Hurlingham, which had been breach two week’s before by a Belsize side fielding a higher team never the less the boys were pumped and wanted to make a statement, with the Hammer 1’s game cancelled and the Hammer 2’s having an early kick off it meant the 3’s had quite a crowd to perform against, no pressure now lads. After walking out to a guard of honour from the supporting lads the boys were pumped up and ready to smash some Ruislip lads. Straight from kick off the hammers forwards made a state with a huge twin hit on the receiving Ruislip player. This momentum enable the 3’s to steal a quick turn over and a crash ball in the centre and an outrageous blindside call enable the legendary returning George O’hara to stroll over within 2 minutes of the game, up steps Steve Harris to see if he can add the extra two from the sideline but on this occasion didn’t quite have the minerals.

Ruislips 130+ kg prop looked like he would be a dangerous ball carrier but this myth after a couple of carries the lads started chopping those ankles instead of going for the bear hug. Hammers second try came from an attempted clearance from Mr Maxwell’s boot saying I’ll clear our lines with an off the side of the boot spiral kick that only just made our 10 meter line however a fortunate bounce and wheels from Alex Chong Kwan enable him to pip the ball in the air and then run it in from the halfway line to save Ollie Maxwell any blush, this time round Steve Harris had his eye on the prize and slotted it through the middle. 12-0 Hammer’s

The Hammers forwards

at this point where starting to dominate and worked our way up the pitch and had a lineout on Ruislip 22m line, a quick ball off the top amd a smart grubber through from Harris allowed the on rushing Ollie Maxwell to slide over and ground the ball, simple rugby execute at the highest order, Harris doesn’t make any mistake this time either and converts nicely. 19-0. I heard you ask what about Storm Dennis he was seemingly being kept at bay.

Continuing to push our scrum half looks like a prop, N.Emmett then does a cheeky show and go and strolls over the line right hand side of the pitch, this angle and a big blow from dennis Harris hooks his conversion wide, that concludes the half.

Half Time Score 24-0.

Ruislip came out second half with the wind behind them and wanting to test the Hammers defence how this stood strong and with the Ruislip forward pack starting to tire and there one of runner allowed the hammers boys to easily select their targets however a lack of discipline and a brief blip in concentration allowed Ruislip to maul it over to get what was to be there only points of the game.

Fortunately the 3s are better at scoring tries than maths as a lack in basic counting skills meant we ended up with 16 on the Field for a very brief moment and then down to 14. In the ensuing confusion that was definitely due to no fault of his own Irwin left the pitch and got caught out with a buffalo on a tinny before being ordered back onto the field, seconds after downing the can.

The Hammers wanted to put right this mistaken score with the lads making ground down the pitch and ending up camping up on Ruislip’s 5m line with the scrums so dominate and walking them forward getting penalty after penalty captain cook asked about the penalty try but wasn’t needed as another scrum walked forward and a pop to Emmett to dived over for his second try of the game. Again the hammers secured the kick off and launched a quick counter attack and made some serious yards and with a 4-1 big man Tom decided to go himself and bundled over to score the final points of the game but the questionable decision to back himself rather than using the 4 on 1 option to finish a great game in horrible conditions.

The final Score Hammers ran out 36 – 7 winners against Ruislip.