Hammers 4th XV vs Old Streets

Yet another trek to North East London saw us take on Old Street for the second time this season. We travelled with a large squad in confident mood having despatched these lads in the home fixture earlier in the season.

Warm up and team run through went well and despite windy conditions the boys were confident of executing the game plan.

We started with a very strong team, from the kick off we carried well with Dixey and Gareth showing willing with ball in hand early doors. Old Street immediately fronted up in defense and looked to counter us at the rucks with their bigger forwards. We expected a hard and physical game from this first play and despite gaining yards, we ended up knocking on just outside their 22. This led to the first scrum which put down a marker, our front row dominated in the tight, forcing the oppo back from the initial hit, they didn’t want to know from then on.

A couple more phases played out before the first score of the game, some fine work from the half backs Dave and Zac before big James Mitchell twisting with power to crash over the try line. A couple more scores followed in quick succession, Mitchell senior with another following a good steal from Reg off a line out,  in addition to a fine run and finish from the evergreen Paul Davies. The backs began to take control, Zac having more and more influence from 10, stepping inside and out to create try’s and notch one brilliant score himself.

Old street did push back and managed to score once before half time but they had no answer to our set piece, ball carrying, and backs dominance. A couple of scores before half time from top scorer Charles Draper took the wind out of their sails and effectively tied things up before the break.

Second half was about closing out the game in a professional manner, and trying to get all 8 subs on with decent game time. Micky Booth stepped inside off the wing to deliver a perfect ball for Mitchell to finalise the hat trick, before then scoring a flair try with pace himself running over half the pitch.

Subs came thick and fast but our dominance continued, despite a much changed scrum and back line. Ollie Stern continued Dan Serfs dominance at the line out, allowing Dave to supply precise passes throughout. Ali Johnston stepped in at tight head to drive the scrum even further back on his front row debut.

A couple more scores followed, one penalty try after good work from the forward pack after a penalty, then Nick Turner taking a kick off and running half the pitch,  through an Old Street winger, oxygen was needed immediately after for the lad.

Old Street did sneak one more back at the end, combination of some tired legs and lack of concentration, we did have the last laugh however as some good work from Mark Paris released Bertram on the right wing who showed a good turn of pace and eye for the sticks. Game over and a cracking first game back in 2020, onwards to Hackney next week to keep the momentum going.

 

Hammers 3s put in a big performance

A surprisingly nice day brought in the first game of the decade as Hammersmith 3s travelled to Whitton Lions for the quarter final of the Bowl. The game kicked off with everyone still running off their Christmas dinners and hangovers, despite this the Hammers were soon in front though after a grubber through and a strong turnover led to a penalty, which from the resulting lineout the forwards drove over to score. Hammersmith looked fantastic in attack and scored several first half tries, finishing the half with a brilliantly executed backs move to put Hammersmith in a commanding position going into half-time

The good play continued in the second half with more tries following, however Whitton kept working and were rewarded when some slack defending in midfield got them on the scoresheet. Despite this set back Hammersmith showed ruthlessness to go straight up the other end and score. The excellent attack continued and more tries followed including Lachy who broke through several defenders to go over. Rob Vaughn then added one more pretending he was a winger crashing through the line off an inside line from the ten. The score could have been higher but Ollie Rea forgot where the try line was and dropped 5 meters short, making sure to wrap up dick of the day

Final score, Hammersmith 62- 7 Whitton, with one particular winger scoring 5 tries, Overall an excellent way to start the new decade, with lots more come in the coming year for all teams

Hammers fail to take their chances against Welsh

The Hammers went into this game full of confidence, following an unbeaten spree dating back to September. Their opposition, equally assured sitting at the top of the table, albeit by a margin that had become less convincing in recent weeks. Six points yet one position, was all that separated these teams in what was sure to transpire into one of the games of the season. The build-up was equally intense, arising from multiple exchanges on an assortment of Social Media channels. There was only one victor here though with TJ Perenara, Samu Kerevi, Jacob Stockdale and Jonny May’s mother reaching out to show their support for the Hammers on this blustery winter’s day; something Alex Hart’s bean pole figure must have clearly been struggling to cope with, following his 45 minute late arrival to Old Deer Park.

It was the Hammers who got off to the better start, dominating the opening 20 minutes, despite the early loss of Peter Benson – who lasted 5 minutes longer than usual. In spite of this ascendancy Phil Lord’s juggling career was struggling to ignite, much like Ben “Scholesy” Hatton’s love life… dropping the ball close to the line. Not even the magic of Will “Genie” Smith could produce the points, following what the ref deemed a hold up over the whitewash, the score remaining 0 vs 0. It wasn’t until the Hammers number 9 stepped up to slot the first 3 points of the game that the deadlock was finally broken. Unfortunately, the lead didn’t last for long. With the Exiles first, second and only entries into the men in blue’s 22, leading to the only two tries of the opening 40 minutes. The score 12 vs 3.

With some strong words shared at half time the Hammers came flying out the blocks. An accurate dart from Phil Lord, followed by a pin point cross field via Ben “Scholesy” Hatton had the Exiles 14 running around with what can only be described as showing the awareness of a Dodo. This gave chance to the in form Alex Gee, who despite his American-Ready endomorphic body type managed to leap high above his opposite man and over the line. One Shearer style celebration later and the score was 12 vs 8, the Hammers back in the game!

With momentum starting to build in favour of the Hammers, a quick glimpse up at Liv ogling at individuals who you would preferably take home to your parents, was enough to lead Mitch Mitchell Mitchellson IV into a lapse of concentration, as he proceeded to collide with the plague-ridden Sam “Purv” Purvis to bring the ball deep into the Hammers half. This was the beginning of a 20 minute slump for the men in blue, with the Exiles looking to apply pressure. A few strong carries followed by a quick scurry from the 9 led to the 3rd Welsh try of the match… the score now 19 vs 8. Unfortunately, this was followed in quick succession by another, thanks to the Exiles winger, whose dummy left Xander Stephen and Alex “The Bean-Pole” Hart parting faster than the Red Sea.

Over the next quarter the Hammers began to re-establish themselves through strong carries from both members of the Doctor partnership Steve John and Angus Lean, fresh from the set of Embarrassing Bodies. A penalty leading to a line out deep into the Welsh 22 was the opportunity that the men in blue were looking for. A robust catch and drive despite a Phil Lord trip – presumably because his sister forgot to tie his laces, set up the perfect platform for the backs; 3 passes later including one from the subdued James Lo, and Gee was over again in the corner; the score, 26 vs 13. This pressure continued throughout the final ten minutes, with the boys pressing for their third of the match. Perhaps it would have happened if Cillian “Luigi” Waldron’s hands weren’t made of butterscotch – dropping two budding interceptions in the latter stages. A few rucks, a side entry and one Jacob Poulton appeal later and the whistle was blown, final score Welsh 26, Hammers 13.

While the Hammers fell short on this occasion, they can go into their winter break in good spirits knowing that they have the ability to right some wrongs; whilst, appreciating that the strain on their backs will have additional time to recover through the absence of Cillian “Luigi” Waldron and Mitch Mitchell Mitchellson IV throughout the start of the New Year. Merry Christmas!

* For the purpose of this report the roles of James Lo and Alex Gee were reversed for the readers pleasure

Hammers 2nd XV vs Rosslyn Park

It was a dark cold windy Friday night and instead of attending Christmas parties Hammersmith and Fulham got invited by Rosslyn Park to play a floodlit game which the boys couldn’t of been more excited about and to stretch their legs underneath the light with a crowd watching. 

Hammers were looking to bounce back from a couple of defeats and looking to reclaim challenge top spot, with a squad brimming with talent and both head coach Mark and assistant coach Nugget in attendance it was a night we didn’t want to let them down. 

H&F started kicked off and had an intent from the off with a big hit on the catcher, it was only a manner of time before hammers secured turnover ball and decided to work the forward up the pitch and before releasing the backs with Tyler running a steamer of a line slicing through Rosslyn Park and combining well with the full back Taylor to score a beautiful opener and the boys started to have a good feeling only for us to muck up the restart giving Rosslyn Park an immediate platform to launch an attack through and sure enough after a couple of phrase they were over in the corner, boys kept there heads up and looking to make amends for the error huge chase from the kick off saw Rosslyn Park pinned down in there half and looking to exit via a box kick which was charged down by Gerard only for him to gather and gentle stroll in under the post to regain the lead. 

After the last kick off we needed to nail this one and exit however a miscommunication lead to two lads running into each other giving away possession and another platform for Rosslyn to attack and Hammers to defend. The hammers d held firm putting in big hits before a scrum on the 5 in which they peeled off and scored from going into half time at 14-14 it was everything to play to in the second half. 

Again the hammer came firing out the block at the second half with lovely phrase play and gaining territory having won a penalty we opted to kick to the corner bold call when your 14-14 but captain cook called it. Louis got the distance with a beautiful nudge into there 22 and then it was down to the forwards to work there magic with a catch and drive line out split Rosslyn Park pack and big Henry went over. 14-21 now. However we started to struggle with the scrums twisting and turning the ref opted for advantage them on this occasion and a quick tap and out wide they went and round us for another sloppy soft try and then boys turned up the heat and Taylor re gathered the kickoff and set the platform for another attack bosses around by Marshall he found the magic ball that allowed Tyler to offer the switch with Taylor for another try and hammer heads were high again and wanting to close this game out. However there were going to be a few more twist and turns before that full time whilst. 

One of them being for locky who made the biggest hit in the game absolute monster of a hit took him up and bought him down in a safe manner however the ref saw different and had to walk for 10 mins huge loss but not the mans fault. Pinned in our 22 and with a huge scrum mr Ralph came onto the flank to support the scrum however props came up and reset and with the scrum and breakdown messy and a penalty give Marshall piped up and the wrong moment and also had to take a breather for 10 mins and wouldn’t be returning. Rosslyn opted for the scrum and with the front rows going up again and then going slightly forward the ref had had enough and walked under the posts and a penalty try was awarded gutted hammers were like let’s go back at them but with only 13 men it was gunna take something special and with Rosslyn Park tails waging in a game we should have sealed off. 

With only 3 mins left on the clock a silly pen allowed Rosslyn to have a line out on our 22 in which they secured and crashed through the centres with the addition players making a difference to score 36-28 the restart secured by Rosslyn and then a scrum with only  seconds left on the clock scrum they held out and cleared the ball into touch to win. A disappointing result but a great game of rugby under the floodlights. We bounce back next week. 

Hammers 4s vs Hackey

On yet another trip to the other side of the country to play Hackney away, the 4s were on a bit of a downer following the long trek east.

Bolstered by a good squad and a dominant previous week  victory over Ickenham, the boys were confident at kick off. Game started at a fast pace with our lads probing for turn overs from the off, despite some suspect reffing the boys managed to get the ball back swiftly. First period of possession resulting in a strong forwards try following some big ball carries up the middle, big Phil Lord crossing the whitewash. The second try followed soon after, a brilliant team try that passed through 10 hands and ended up with Tom Dixey smashing over from close range.

With the wind beneath the sails the boys kicked on and scored again showing some silky skills and absolute dominance in the set piece, line out spot on with Nick Haigh jumping brilliantly, scrum going well with Angus and Steve turning balls over against the head. However, following a period of good defence in our 22 the hackney forward pack did manage to scrape a try back, met with jubilation from their packed home crowd. Then came a moment of madness, eager to get back on the front foot, the boys pushed into the Hackney 22, looking threatening every play, unfortunately however, big Phil got a bit lost in the centres and quickly became apparent he was way out of his depth, throwing an interception to their full back who sprinted for the long range try. Game on!

Half time came and went with an air of tension despite us clearly being the better team. Dominance was however soon restored and a number of tries followed swiftly, Marshall and Dave bossing the midfield, James and Dixey the forwards, Jamie the backs. Hackney had no answer to the onslaught and the emptying the bench made it worse form the home side. Great performance all around and well deserved win.

Final Score 58-19

MOM – Dave Buchannan / Phil Lord

DOD – Jamie Drysdale

Hammers 1st XV continue their winning ways against Fullerians

The day? November the 23rd.  The opponents? Fullerians. The Pitch? Well, apparently the latest suburban race-track for their “local rivals”, but it was soft-to-heavy and primed for a forward dominated game.

Kick-off.  The game starts with a frenetic kicking contest, each back three playing a game of “No after you” whilst successfully missing touch several times (a theme that would continue throughout the contest). The forwards – looking upward in despair – wondered if they would ever taste the sweet brutality of contact, or perhaps today was to be a day for bird watching.  A Fullerian knock-on, and those concerns were quickly put to bed.  A scrum on the half-way line, and the hammers settled into early control of the game, as the “best looking pack ever to grace the field of play” (as one mature admirer of Alex “Rich Tea” Hart put it) began doing what they do best.

The Hammers looked good with the ball. Without it, Dave Arnot began demonstrating Scottish Rugby League Hooliganism at its finest by demolishing opponents on-and-off the ball with equal ferocity. It is rumoured the Fullerians coaching staff used their fancy intercom system to get a message to the referee – “ our 12 is really a prop” – and with this new knowledge the referee threatened to smack Dave’s bottom if he continued playing so hard, and told him to apologise for being too good at ending people.

Zac “howyafarkengoin” Halliday

It didn’t take long for Hammers pressure to tell. A penalty – side entry to the dominant Hammers maul – by Fullerians on the half way line provided an opportunity.  A touch finder from Ben “recently single” Hatton, and the ominous prospect of a Hammers lineout within their 22 became a Fullerian defensive reality.  A throw from Zac “howyafarkengoin” Halliday, and the maul rolled on again only to be brought down before the whitewash. The forwards backed themselves, and inspired by Boris Johnston’s tactical nous, prorogued the back line and resorted to pick-and-go’s. Angus “Who wants stash” Lean finally crossing the try-line for Hammers’ first points.  A conversion from Ben “Bumble” Hatton and the Hammers were 7-0 up. 3 points quickly followed from a penalty and the Hammers stretched to 0-10 lead.

Unfortunately the remainder of the half’s last 20 minutes was a great example of how not to play Rugby, score tries, or defend a lead. Notable line breaks from James Lo, and Alex Gee came to naught. Complacency bled into a disillusionment and like Brexit, the Hammers stalled after a strong start.  Fullerians pressed hard to capitalise with 10 minutes to go in the half. A well-worked try in the corner accompanied by a kick which defied both skill and physics resulted in a 7-10 score line, and with a few minutes to half time another penalty saw the score line levelled at 10-10.  Well done to our opposition for taking their opportunities.

The second half began with the words of Coach Mark “Do I look like a B###t” Jackson, ringing in the Hammers ears. With light fading the kicks didn’t get any better, but the intensity and desire did, with Jacob “Insta Rig” Poulton musing after the game, “At times I was unsure if we were playing man or beast it was that dark”.

The pressure finally became too much for Fullerians, who decided it was easier to play with 13 men. The first yellow for after some back chat from their captain, and the second a shoulder charge on Steve “The Doctor” John.  A penalty from Ben “Right Swipe” Hatton regained the Hammers Lead 10-13.

The game resumed, a kick-off, and for a match with few notable highlights (or light by this stage for that matter)  into the fell clutch of circumstance, and by that we mean that Jordan “Get me some Vaseline” Abbott caught the kick off under considerable pressure.  Soaring like Dumbo the elephant on the 10m line, he caught the pill and charged the Fullerian forwards.  A strong run ended about 30 meters later, from which he emerged covered in blood from a slight nose bleed.

More darkness, more pick-and-go’s and the Hammers found themselves once again camped in the Fullerians 22. Phase upon phase of pressure resulted in Pete “all smiles” Benson crossing the whitewash to put the Hammers 10 points clear again.  It was a lead that was held on to until the final whistle, by which time the game was being played by the light of the moon.

MOM: Jacob Poulton, for his strong work up front in a day dominated by the piggies.

Tin Man: Ben “Love me” Hatton, for his awesome box kicks that regularly went exactly where he and the rest of the team wanted them to go.

 

Hammers ladies 1st XV continue their winning ways

Well girls, what a game it was again. Wimbledon did challenge us and pushed us around, which only made us work harder. But it was with a great spirit that we worked hard and made the game ours, and scoring the 5 tries we need to get our well-deserved bonus point win.

It all started pretty well, and after a couple of minutes in the game we were already in Wimbledon’s 22m. Hard lines and clever play got our forwards got Fred to identify a tiny gap in their defensive line, and drove over the line with great support from Kaye. Great forwards tekkers. 0-5.

 

Opening the score line got us in a pretty confident position, we we had a cracking first 20min, with our scrums being super dominant and our strong runners breaking the defensive lines on multiple occasion. Wimbledon came at us pretty hard in that second part of the first half, but struggling to find some space as our line speed was pretty awesome. Their fly-half, acknowledging they weren’t going anywhere, went for a little kick and chase over the top of the line, and scored what was a lovely try all things considered. with the conversion, score was now 7-5.

But we were pretty much done with Wimbledon scoring tries. We were back in possession, back in their territory, and another scrum happened. That’s when our Kaye decided she’s had enough of all that scrummage and casually took the ball to go over the try line, even fooling our flankers who were still pushing when she put the ball down. Great decision making, and back in the game we were. 7-10.

 

After a kick from Wimbledon trying to find touch, Katherine managed to kept the ball in and turned what could have been the opportunity for them to be back in the game into our own chance to score. Scrum down, beautiful 8 pick-up from Kaye again, who pops it back to Katherine who had the speediest run and scored try number 3.

The following 20min gave us some pretty hard work to do, but our cracking word in defence gave us lots of tu

rnovers (thanks Kaye) and Wimbledon couldn’t just handle the pressure coming in from those tackles (Dr Alex, Lizzy and Aly I’m looking at you). Using those opportunities at their best, our back line was just on fire and Lizzy got herself one beauty o

f a try to get the score up to 7-20.

Forwards decided to join in in what was a true collective performance, and after a solid defensive effort from John which put their fly-half under pressure, Ham

mers got another quick ball to use, and Charlotte powered through about 3 people to get the score up to 7-25.

Forward of the match went to Kaye for some huge tackles, great turnovers and all-round big performance.And because we love it – we just kept going, showing everyone on the sideline that Hammers can truly play 80min of rugby at their best. In one final effort, Aly literally kangaroo springs out of a tackle to run in a try, making the final score 30-7.

  • Back of the match went to Lizzie for some great defensive work, one hell of a try and being a real threat on her wing.

Hammers 2s still undefeated!

Sunday morning… it was a glorious day… the sun was shining and thanks to the obscene early start on a Sunday… there were no people around… apart from of course our mighty twos team… To keep the day interesting, we thought we would play in the oppositions shirts on this occasion… apparently our new kit wasn’t keen on the long journey to Medway… but fear not this did not hold us back!

First half we had some good hits.. strong runs but Medways defence was on point.

Half time 5-0.

Luckily this was not where our story ended … second half we made our comeback… Jackie with her new (highly fashionable/ stylish) goggles…. I’m sure was flying on a broomstick at one point she was so fast…. Brucie… I don’t think she realised any opposition was on the pitch.. she just crashed through all.. Buks actually ran (I know there was no walking/ skipping in sight) and scored a try within 5 minutes on the pitch… imo m was a gazelle straight down the middle of the pitch to score under the posts and Helen Ryan… well her catch before scoring that try was top notch!

*disclaimer… some people scored more than one try*

We even made a best pal for life in the ref… who ran his own commentary with lines such as ‘gee.. look at the gas on that one’… and ‘Medway will never catch her’. The team work and support was on fire and I could compliment every single person for their efforts!

Forward of the match went to Lauren… and back of the match to Jess Sass. Well done to Caitlin, Dannika, Hayley and Brucie on dominating their first Hammers Games… same again next week please!

Of course the fun bus would need a whole other match report to be written on it… but you’re okay… what happens on the fun bus.. stays on the fun bus… kidding clearly these stories ALL come on tour.

Anyway, final score 43-0 BOOM… world domination!

See you all tonight, pumped for another week of rugby.

The Fantastic 4

Hammers 2s go down to HAC

It was after a heartbreaking 10-12 loss to top of the table Belsize Park that Hammersmith & Fulham 2XVs were travelling to Old Street to play against HAC hoping to start a new winning streak.

The game began quite well for H&F who obtained a line out in the opposition’s 22s after only a couple of minutes. Unfortunately, it was lost and HAC managed to make their way back to H&F’s half where they set camp for the next 20 minutes. Heroic defense never allowed HAC to cross the try line but the Hammers never really managed to get out of their half due to a poor line out and SBW-like offload attempts in the backline that didn’t end with the expected outcome.

Eventually, HAC got a clean breaks playing blindside on a scrum and came close to scoring. H&F were saved by their new number 10 Marshall MacLeod who managed to snatch the ball near the tryline. As HAC regained possession after the clearance kick and looked like their were going to spend the next 20 minutes hitting a brick wall, they eventually decided the kick a penalty when the opportunity was given. 25m to the right side of the posts and it went wide.

H&F realised that it was probably time to react and Magnus Barber celebrated his comeback to rugby by getting a penalty in H&F’s 22s which he played quickly and with good support he brought the game to HAC’s half who were then guilty of an intentional knock-on the stop the play, the first one of a long series. A good kick by French resident Louis van Langenhove and the Hammers were back for the first time in ages in HAC’s 22s. After a few phases H&F were awarded a penalty on the 22m line. Spotting that HAC’s defence wasn’t in a rush to get set, Louis vL played the penalty and thought he was off for a try only to be stopped by the referee who did not see him tapping the ball. Instead, the Hammers got a last opportunity with a 5m line out but the ball was lost and halftime was called on the beautiful score of 0-0.

The second half was more or less a remake of the first one, with HAC holding the ball in H&F’s 22s but not being able to score. As H&F’s forwards starting to get tired of defending, the scrums went backwards more and more. HAC took this opportunity to put more pressure on the Hammers’ defence and finally crossed the white wash but the ball was held up. On the following scrum, the Hammers were driven all the way back to the line and were saved by HAC’s no.8’s clumsiness who knocked the ball on whilst he only had to put pressure on it to score.

After probably 20 minutes spent in the same part of the pitch, HAC finally managed to score a try: with a scrum in Hammers’ 22s and despite a poor pass from HAC’s scrum-half that put his whole team on the back foot, HAC’s centre and captain found space out wide and one offload later a try was scored on the wing, followed by a successful conversion. HAC 7 – 0 H&FRFC.

From this moment on, the game became much more even with the Hammers finally able to put their hands on the ball. Unfortunately, silly mistakes and bad handling prevented H&F to bring too much danger. On the plus side, debutant Will Smith became a solid contender for the “Tackle of the Year” award when he absolutely dismantled his opposite man. Understanding that they would not get anymore opportunities to score a try, HAC kicked to the posts as soon as they got the possibility. From about 30m slightly to the left side of the posts, HAC’s kicker didn’t miss the target. HAC 10 – 0 H&FRFC.

With only 10 minutes left on the clock, Hammersmith & Fulham played with more urgency and finally managed to consistently go though the gainline. Following their 4th intentional knock-on of the day, HAC finally got the yellow card they deserved and it allowed H&F to settle in the opposition’s 22s. Sadly and despite another 5m line out, H&F never managed to get points on the board.

Final Score HAC 10 – 0 H&FRFC.

 

Hammers 1st XV vs Luton

The Hammers were in buoyant mood ahead of this week’s fixture against Luton after securing 3 bonus point wins on the trot. Following on from their recent appointment as the UK’s worst large airport, things weren’t looking so bright for Luton RFC, marooned as they were at the foot of the London 2 NW runway. Nonetheless, with a big pack in damp, if not quite wet, conditions, they were an obstacle that needed to be overcome.

Faced with some unavailability, the Hammers backline took on a changed look. Jack Davies came to compose the orchestra at 10, Ross Anderson played his second fiddle at 12, and there was a return to the side after his McGettigans’ tantrum for Alex Gee on the wing.

The men in red got off to a flying start. Kick-off was received and a strong exit accomplished. A poor kick return from Luton gave the Hammers time and space to counter-attack. Alex Gee was looking dangerous with ball-in-hand, probably the reason why his visa was denied. Once up into the 22, Waldron hit a lovely line and reached out foe the whitewash.

Perhaps even more pleasing was the control on proceedings the Hammers established over the next quarter. Defence was tight and organised, led by the back-row titan of Steve John, who had stopped saving lives for a few minutes to make some hits, and the menace that is Cillian Waldron. In attack, the pack moved into their patterns nicely to great effect. The pressure soon paid off with a well-executed maul, Jordan Abbot the beneficiary.

A third try followed quickly. A nice nudge over the top was chased enthusiastically by James Lo, and some deft handling by Steve John and Jacob Poulton led to the ball being returned to Lo who dived in at the corner. The game would have been put out of sight within 30 minutes had Ben Hatton not shanked a penalty from in front of the sticks after a rampaging maul was moved 30 metres up the park. Still the half-time oranges tasted sweet with the score 19-0 and the boys claiming there was plenty left in the tank.

Sadly, the second half was not more of the same. After conceding some careless breakdown penalties, Jordan Abbot did his best sleeping lion impression at one ruck too many and was shown a slice of Cornish cheddar. The heavy Luton pack used this as motivation to have an impact and started applying pressure particularly at the scrum. Andrew ‘the human hinge’ Rogan spent one scrum like a duck in water – neck bent over and feet off the ground paddling hard. Despite this, some excellent defensive work forced a turnover against the run of play and Elliot Purvis got over in the corner.

However, quickly it was backs against the walls. A lack of ball coupled with some cheap penalties gave Luton territory to force themselves over and onto the scoreboard. When they visited the 22 again, the referee deemed James Lo to have done something wrong and sent him to the bin. The situation called for calm heads. The Hammers looked to their captain to set the tone. Josh McClean responded by getting himself a yellow card. Thanks skip. 13 men on their own line held out two 5m scrums before Luton broke through.

At this stage the Hammers focused on closing the game out. Luton were looking to play more expansively and from their own 22 found an overlap to send their winger into the corner. Squeeky bum time. Coach Mark was readying his inner Alex Ferguson regardless of how it went from here. The Hammers secured possessed in Luton’s 22 and looked to look after the pill, despite the best efforts of the newly-single Sam White who thought now was the time for loopy tip-ons. Penalty secured. 2.5 minutes to go. Posts indicated. Missed. Ball regathered. Penalty secured. 1 minute to go. Posts indicated. Final whistle blown before kick taken (which is definitely not a thing). Bonus point win but it didn’t much feel like it.

The boys returned to the comfort of the sheds for their hairdryers and an evening of super fives. We go again next week.