With the world cup already fading into the memories it was time for rugby fans to focus on the important stuff, the Middlesex merit table premier. With a win and an agonising 1 point loss in the first two round, the newly promoted Hammers 3s we’re looking to put things right against Rosslyn Park.

As expected against a physical side, the match opened with an avalanche of big shots and hard carries as both sides looked to impose themselves on the other. Initially Hammers seemed to get the better of this battering their way down the field until prop Elias Pablo crashed over from close to open the scoring. Fly half Joel Mariner couldn’t quite get the extras, bouncing his conversion off the cross bar, leaving hammers 5-0.

The next minutes saw much of the same with momentum swinging towards Rosslyn Park who found themselves down in the Hammers 22. Strong defense was necessary for several phases before the ball was fumbled and quick thinking centre Guy Woodhouse hacked the ball up the field. Scrum half Jake Cheetham picked up the ball, charging up field, before offloading to winger Will Ridge who dotted down for the score. This time Mariner had no trouble adding the extras. 12-0 Hammers.

As the first half progressed, the opposition showed their strength again scoring two quick fire tries to put the scores all Square in the dying minutes of the half. The Hammers then found themselves with a shot at goal in the last play, with Mariner again slotting to take the men in red in at 15-12 ahead.

The second half was played much like the first with both sides looking to win the arm wrestle. Opportunities came for both sides but it took until the last 15 for Hammers to blink first and find themselves regrouping under the sticks 15-17 down.

Fired up the hammers regathered there own kick and pressed the attack. They pushed well into the 22 before they lost the ball and RP cleared their lines. However, a penalty then gave them a chance for a shot at goal, that could put them ahead. Mariner again stepped up from close to the halfway line but somehow found the woodwork again, bouncing the ball off the upright with a fine effort.

Hammers continued to persue the 3 points that could win them the game, pushing on in the dying minutes. However they were to fall short again with Park scoring in the corner in the last play of the game, adding the extras to snatch away the losing bonus point. A tough result to take from a brave team performance

Saturday, 21st October 2023, will go down in history as a devastating day for most England rugby fans, as a last-gasp score left the faithful fans with a hollow feeling. It got even worse for the singers of “Sweet Chariot” when South Africa pipped the England national team to earn a place in the 2023 Rugby World Cup Final.

Going into the game, Tunbridge Wells had four wins and two losses; the inverse of the Hammers, who had two wins and four losses, making this an enticing 9th vs. 4th place fixture. The weather was respecting the behemoth occasion by releasing the heavens upon the hallowed grounds of SW6. New flatmates, Tim and Marshall, had a particularly romantic moment in the pouring rain as they performed “One Day More” on the ride to Hurlingham Park, where the weather remained very miserable indeed.

Tunbridge Wells kicked off, and it was caught by a sliding Harry Scarr before both teams engaged in some excellent kick-tennis. Joe Carolan delivering some excellent bombs with his now trademarked “throw the ball at his foot and hit it really hard” technique, which fired the Hammers downfield. Wells began the afternoon with several handling errors, and the Hammers utilised the opportunities with our former center turned scrum-half, now playing at 10, Ross Anderson in the pocket for a delicious chip over the top of the advancing Kent midfield. Joint second-fastest winger in the club, Tim Russell latched onto the bobbling ball and dotted down for the first try of the game. Joe Carolan conversion: 7 – 0.

The thousands of spectators down at Hurlingham Park really got to experience the highs and lows of the beautiful game as they relished in the ecstasy of a 50-22 from Ross Anderson, before flinching with anxiety as he recovered a Tunbridge grubber, dummied the chasing winger, and then cleared the ball (to midfield) all from our own try-line. After some uninteresting pressure, Wells won a penalty and opted for the points: 7 – 3. The weather persisted, resulting in more and more kicks as both backlines looked to gain an advantage, Peter Morris producing some fine nudges from his own 22 to relieve the pressure on the Hammers.

At the 20-minute mark, Tunbridge Wells had mounted an all-out attack for the Hammers line from a solid driving maul; they worked it nicely to the back, hit a good runner in the middle, produced a nice tip-on carry, dropped the ball, and allowed Scott Van Berckel to boot the loose ball forward. At that moment, it was as though someone had fired the starting gun for a 100m race; within seconds, the Hammers’ back three were flying forward in a perfect chevron, hunting the ball down as it thundered over halfway. Often described as lightning-quick by everyone, Peter Morris, Marshall MacLeod, and Tim Russell raced forward. The former honey badger got there first and demonstrated his unselfishness by slicing the grubber wayward into the path of Peter Morris. The Austrian playmaker returned the favor as he gathered the loose ball and offloaded it back, just as the Wells’ players started to surround them both. The passage was pure skill and just good rugby, not an absolute fluke that helped avoid an embarrassment for a spurned opportunity. Joe Carolan missed conversion, before rightfully blaming the post: 12 – 3.

As we entered spooky season, the Hammers were haunted by their discipline yet again. Wells took the points again: 12 – 6. After the restart and another knock-on by Wells, the weather proving to be their second biggest challenge of the day after, of course, the monstrous carries of, the newly unsingle, Josh Asafu-Adjaye. Inspired by Captain Proctor, the Hammers drove forward and won a lineout, a little too convincingly, and as a back writing this, Tonbridge Wells did something very anti-rugby: they didn’t compete in the pushy things after the lineouts. Clearly confused that their

forwards could think coherently, the Hammers lost their concentration for a brief period and allowed Tunbridge to gain significant territory, resulting in another penalty won in their opposition 22. It was in this moment that Marshall MacLeod (the Hammers’ joint-second fastest winger) suddenly decided that he was hungry and instead of opting for meat pies, opted for some cheese. With a man advantage, Wells fashioned some strong carries to score a well-worked try under the sticks. Conversion was good as the whistle sounded for half-time: 12 – 13.

The Hammers came out flying, gathering the kickoff and making excellent yards through huge carriers from Zak Underwood and Alex Spicer. Ross Anderson risked it all as he put his ribs on show to the Tunbridge flanker as Pete Morris skipped beautifully through a gap in midfield. He was brought down agonizingly close to the line. After a quick ruck, Ben Dugdale whipped the ball out to our gorgeous hooker, Scott VB, who dotted down. Joe Carolan missed conversion: 17 – 13.

The second half continued the lovely game of kick-tennis, Ross and Joe delivering some excellent bombs. Tim Russell caught a long return kick and was promptly decapitated by the opposite center, resulting in the ref dishing out the second yellow of the game. Even with a man down, Tunbridge drove forward and scored an easy try out wide, primarily due to the lackluster defense from the Hammers. Conversion was good: 17 – 20.

The Hammers faithful knew there was going to be a game on their hands now as the final quarter of the game proved to be a true cat-and-mouse story. The Hammers’ greatest ally on the day, another handling error from the Wells backline, allowed Pete Morris to gather the loose ball and offload to Tim Russell, who basketball-passed the ball to Joe Carolan, finally getting out of second gear for the first time that day. Still not flat-out, Joe needed the torque of the lower gears to leg-drive his way over the try-line to score. Joe added the extras: 24 – 20.

Hammers just love playing rugby, especially in their own 22, and delicious hands by Jack Watters and Barry (short for Barracuda) Scarr led to a knock-on by Wells well into their half. The scrum led to a period of stalemate for both teams, several minutes of high kicks and phases in the middle of the park. Harry Boyd (joint second fastest winger in the club), now on, galloped forward multiple times, striding into the open space left by the Wells backs, fleeing as the escaped convict he now looks like with his new buzz-cut.

Tunbridge used all of their tactical genius to pick-and-go to the tryline to impose a presence onto the Hammers. They eventually barreled a maul over, and the conversion was good: 24 – 27. The game really hotting up. After the restart, Tunbridge came straight back, relentless carries, smart offloads, and hard lines. The Hammers’ defense was holding out, but they were being slowly driven backward by some impressive phases. Tunbridge battled on, making precious ground with every carry, inch by inch they crept closer to the Hammers line before… HARRY BOYD! Now, when you think of Harry Boyd, you think of raw pace, a clean pair of heels, and dust trailing after him as he approaches MACH 1. Once he had gathered the ball from another Tunbridge knock-on, there was no stopping the inevitable: a 70-meter run down the wing and another try for the flying winger in his debut season for the Hammers. Joe Carolan conversion: 31 – 27.

Surely that was it for the day, and as the skies became gray, so did the outlook for the Hammers. Conceding penalties in their own 22 is not a good way to finish the day, even with outstanding hits from Josh Smith and Ryan Powter. Tunbridge looked to the corner to complete their playbook for the day, a rolling maul led to another forward’s try. It wasn’t particularly beautiful rugby, but it was effective, and the conversion rubbed salt in the wounds of the Hammers: 31 – 34. Final score.

Fair play to a well-drilled Tunbridge Wells team, who kicked skillfully and carried stronger. It was another tough loss for the Hammers to take, but some impressive performances from Harry Boyd, Peter Morris. Scott VB and Harry Scarr also had excellent games up front.

Man of the Match: Harry Boyd

Dick of the Day: Marshall MacLeod

Tries: Tim Russell (x2), Joe Carolan, Scott Van Berckel, Harry Boyd.

Conversions: Joe Carolan (x3)

Saturday 23rd Seotember was a sobering day for the men from Hurlingham, as they went down 41-0 to a tough, physical, cohesive Bracknell side.

On their arrival in Berkshire, Hammers were greeted by dry, warm conditions (which would usually play into their hands as exponents of joue running rugby), but also a pitch that, although in great nick, was suspected to be a few metres narrower than standard.

Hammers started the first half playing up the hill and soon after receiving kick-off it became clear that the narrow pitch had been a clear predictor of Bracknell’s playing style, with their large, aggressive pack picking good, direct lines off 9 and 10 and beginning to making inroads in the Hammers defence. Add to that a well-drilled set piece and strong maul, helped by some sloppy Hammers errors, and Bracknell were able to cross the Hammers whitewash 5 times in the first period. Hammers were disappointed to have started the game too passively, with their line speed in defence not sufficient to knock the home side off their stride and not causing enough disruption at the breakdown to slow their ball. In attack, Hammers lost their shape too frequently and did not keep hold of the ball for long enough to test Bracknell on the edges, where they are typically most threatening. All-in-all, a decidedly sub-par first half meant the Men in Red went into the break trailing 29-0, with it all to do in the second half.

After some calm but stern words in the huddle, Hammers were much improved in the second half, dominating long periods of possession and territory. On the day though they were just not quite clinical enough to make the pressure count on the scoreboard. A second half score of 12-0 to Bracknell flattered them, with a try coming in the dying seconds through the middle of a tiring, hastily re-jigged Hammers defence following some late injuries.

Despite the scoreline, respect must be paid to a couple of the men from SW6. Up-front, Josh Asafu-Adjaye and the timeless Andrew Rogan did not take a backward step all day (scrums excluded!). Kudos also to Toby Hiram, who put in a battling display in the 7 shirt on debut, and Ben Navabi making his debut at the coalface. Finally, best wishes to Max Dugdale on his recovery from a nasty shoulder injury.

All eyes now return to Fortress Hurlingham for a huge game against Marlborough, where Hammers will hope to return to winning ways.

Saturday. A Rugby day. Ushered in by perhaps the last of the summer sun, the Bastard 2’s rocked up to Hurlingham Park before and after the allotted meet time, Fulham v Luton is a recipe for disaster on New Kings Road…

It had been a long road to this moment, the 2nd XV boys having started their preseason off two months prior. The season before had ended in both a bang and a whimper, the oppo crying off for our last game of the season and allowing us to get on the beers and watch the 1’s win theirs at Windsor. After 8 weeks of Ian making us run, crawl, turn and stretch our hip flexors to within an inch of their lives, the boys were up for an actual game of rugby on an actual rugby pitch.

26 degrees, dry pitch, not a cloud in the sky. Your author was preparing himself for a game of rugby how it was intended to be played. Fast flowing, running rugby, but boy was I wrong. One up rugby, pick and go’s from the 22, and countless handling errors. You could have been forgiven for thinking it was the middle of February at a boggy wet Hurlingham.

The 2’s started brightly with plenty of intent, but forcing the issue when speculative offloads were not on and sloppy handling errors hamstrung us over the first half. A silly penalty and some soft defence allowed Maidenhead over the line first to open the scoring. Conversion missed. Shortly after Max kicked a penalty to keep us in touching distance. The rest of the half went by in the following fashion:

Make Break

Make Mistake

Turnover

For about 20 minutes until on the stroke of halftime Josh AA our Winger-turned-Flanker-turned-Winger-again-but-sometimes-Flanker, forced a superb penalty on the opposition 5 which Ross took quickly and popped out to Fergal who had a simple finish in the corner. Conversion missed. HT 8-5 Hammers.

The 2nd half picked up on the action but the theme of the game remained the same. Hammers showed promise in their build-up play but coughed it up when things were looking good. Maidenhead scored back to back tries through more crashing and pick and going. 8-15. Hammers hit back through debutant Oscar after some quick hands from Max and Ollie allowed Oscar to run in untouched. Conversion missed. 13-15. FINALLY, with 15 mins to go the backs managed to execute a set play, with Ollie feeding captain Mad Dog with a brilliant delayed pass allowing him to streak through, beat a defender and score. Max woke up again and decided to make his conversion. 20-15.

Maidenhead responded again with a try of their own through yet another scintillatingly boring passage of rugby. 1 up crash, pick and go CTRL + C, CTRL + V. Their 3rd kicker of the day managing to finally slot one. 20-22.

With about 5 mins on the clock Max kicked a penalty to put us back in front, with an uncomfortably slender advantage going into the last knockings of the game, 23-22. Hammers gave away an ugly penalty, and their kicker definitely kicked it dead over the try line, only for the ref to call it back to be kicked again because Maidenhead decided they wouldn’t have anyone running the line from their side and it was ‘The fairest way to do it’. Maidenhead’s maul had been causing us problems all day but Hammers managed to stop the drive and keep the Maidenhead pick and go’s at bay long enough to win a penalty for holding on as the clock went red.

All in all a lot to work on, but a lot to be proud of. Defence under the pump when it mattered most was superb.

MOTM – Toby, great performance on the flank, strong in the tackle and great work rate. Debut as well? Show off..

DOTD – Anton, if you know the GIF from The Simpsons of Homers dad coming into Moe’s and leaving straight away, this was kind of like that. Came on, straight into a scrum, hurt his arm in said scrum and came off. All in the name of a free pint.

Also a bit shoutout to recently retired former Nat 1 Sensation Ben Hatton, for giving up his free time from inspiring the future generations at his Primary School, to coach the Bastard 2’s whilst Nugget was off playing Semi Pro ruggers.

One of the more forgettable games of rugby, yet somehow still more exciting than watching England kick aimlessly for 60 minutes on Sunday.

Every unbeaten campaign starts with a win….onto the next.

And so the day had arrived! Derby Day! Hammersmith & Fulham Vs London Welsh!

London Welsh kicked off and straight away Hammers were under pressure, the first 5 minutes were camped in the home sides 22 and only some strong defense kept the visitors at bay. This strong defense proved fruitful for Hammersmith as a loose pass from the Welsh’s fly half was hacked through by Harry Boyd and the 2nd fastest winger on the pitch collected his own kick and ran under the sticks. Converted by Joe Carolan.

After another clean take from kick off, Joe Carolan cleared the ball deep into Welsh’s half with the fullback knocking the ball forward. It was the first bit of pressure Hammer’s could put on; however, the scrum was turned over and the pressure was straight back on the home side. Constant penalties were not helping hammers and after 10 minutes of further pressure scoring. Conversion missed. The penalties continued after kick off and it wasn’t long before Welsh were back camped on Hammer’s line, which proved costly as after some slick offloading rugby saw them gain their 2nd score. Converted by Welsh to make it 7-12. In the period of penalties, Hammersmith’s number 12 Jack Watters was shown yellow.

As Hammersmith kicked off it was time for them to apply some pressure to the away side. After some swift hands from the hammer’s backline, Tim Russell was away up the wing only to be stopped by a high tackle from the Welsh fullback, who was shown a yellow card. Carolan put the ball deep into the Welsh 22 and for the first time in the match Hammersmith were in a solid attacking position. After a clean win in the lineout from Zander Stephens, the maul started rumbling forwards with Andrew Rogan breaking off and diving for the line, however, he was held up and Welsh could clear their lines.

After an extensive period of back and forth, half time was quickly approaching, but after some good passing down the line from the Hammer’s on Welsh’s 22-meter line, the ball ended up in the hands of Tim Russell once more. This proved to be bad news for Welsh as Russell put through an inch perfect grubber which he collected and dived over the line for Hammer’s 2nd try. Carolan converted and the score stood at 14-12. Hammer’s weren’t finished there, the ball was kicked off and taken well by Spicer who carried into the defense and the ruck was set up. The ball was then given to Will Donegan who tipped the ball to Scott Van Berckel, who like a hot knife through butter, broke through the line and he was away, with the Welsh defense catching Scott he tipped the ball to Tim Russell who once again sprinted under the sticks to score Hammer’s 3 try. Carolan Converted, 21-12.

With only 1 minute left on the clock of the first half, Hammer’s conceded a penalty straight from kick off, which led to Welsh deciding to have a shot at the posts which was successful. First half score 21-15.

Carolan kicked off for the 2nd half with Welsh taking cleanly and clearing their lines, Scarr received the ball deep in Hammer’s half and quickly threw it wide to Marshall Macleod who made good ground before being taken down, the ball was quickly spun wide and some scintillating hands from the back line sent Carolan away up the left wing, with the Welsh defense scrambling all he had to do was tip the ball inside to Harry Boyd who ran away under the posts for his 2nd and Hammer’s 4th. Converted by Carolan, 28-15.

As the 2nd half progressed, Hammer’s piled on the pressure with most of the play taking place in Welsh’s half, only ill discipline kept Welsh in it. Hammers brought on some fresh legs with 30 minutes to go, Scarr replaced by Ed Haines, Zak Underwood back on in the front row and Paddy off for Ben Dugdale.

The game started to open up as boys got tired, with both Welsh and Hammersmith breaking the defense on numerous occasions. However, no team could find the pivotal score. With the minutes ticking by and Welsh becoming more and more frustrated, it was Hammers who were next to strike. London Welsh had made good progress into the home sides 22 and looked like they were going to close the deficit, however, Harry Boyd had other ideas, he intercepted a welsh pass on the 5 meter line and stormed up the wing, he didn’t quite have the legs but with an exceptional pass inside he found Tim who finished it off for his hattrick. Converted by Carolan, 35-15.

With the game looking all but over, Hammersmith were not letting off, winning a scrum penalty in front of the sticks for Carolan to slot an easy 3 points. Score 38-15. London Welsh had the last laugh with a final try but it was to no avail. Hammersmith & Fulham win 38-20.

What a game and what a start to the season. Roll on!