Two-weeks on since I last saw Hammersmith & Fulham Men’s 1^st XV score 87 points, the time had arrived, a local derby, one that had not been seen for some time, the battle of the parks, Hurlingham vs Regents, Hammers vs Belsize, who would come out on top?

As my brothers and I were wrapped up in our match attire, the teams warmed up. Hammersmith’s dynamic stretching being led by Mr Hammers himself Ian Burbedge, while Steve Harris and Phil Swainston made last minute strategic tweaks in Director of Rugby Mark Jackson’s absence. The comms picked up over the next 40 minutes, as either side completed their preparation; quieter than usual, perhaps due to nerves or maybe just silent confidence as the team’s hit the pads and entered the changing rooms. No less than 10 minutes later, they were back out raring to go, Hammersmith and Fulham playing away from me throughout the first half, an uncommon affair.

Nevertheless, the boys started well despite giving an early penalty away off the restart, an eagerness to impress I expect and a prediction made by Pete Morris just before the whistle. Following Belsize Park’s kick to touch, the line out was contested and a scrum was awarded to the Hammers. A solid platform was formed by the forwards and the backs were released. A dummy, miss pass and an inside ball later Tim Russell found himself over the line, a 50m score that I could truly appreciate from my Bird’s eye view behind. Unlike previous weeks Joe Carolan needed no warming up and the conversion was slotted, for he is most at peace when the pressure is on him, 7 vs 0 Hammersmith & Fulham. The next 15 minutes were much the same as the Hammers intensity continued, Belsize only being relieved through a series of penalties caused by ill-discipline. The period did, however, eventually see Hammersmith add two additional converted tries, a strong pick-up off the base of the Scrum and some great hands from Matt Killeen and Tim Russell allowed Tom Proctor to dot down in the corner, while a break through the ruck from Joe Carolan and some outside support from Matt Killeen led to a further try, score 21 vs 0.

The next 20 minutes saw the tide turn and although I love to see Hammersmith doing well, it was nice to get closer to the action. Continued ill-discipline, as well as strong carries from Belsize Park saw the Hammers on the back foot, something the team would be unfamiliar with at home this season. While Hammersmith held out strong, they were unable to enter Belsize’s half and 20 minutes later the pressure took its toll. After a Tim Russell yellow card, taken on behalf of the team, it took just 2 minutes for Belsize Park to score. A quick-tap, some strong carries and great hands saw them score over the line to my left-hand side, just before half-time. An accurate conversion to my right and the extra 2 points were given, score heading into half time, Hammersmith & Fulham 21, Belsize Park 7.

As the second-half kicked off, you could hear the wind whistling and the nerves around Hurlingham, how would the Hammers respond? – now playing towards me. Unfortunately, not well. As the restart was spilled forward, Belsize pounced, their 13 running a strong line which sliced through the Hammers defence for a score, 21 vs 14, game-on. As Tessa Blanchard once said, “I do, I put pressure on myself” and that is exactly what Hammersmith had done, the response was now key, and what a response it was. With Tim Russell now back on the pitch the Hammers looked to press for the bonus point and after some consistent pressure and a Belsize Park yellow card, it was an inside ball to a galloping Ed Haynes that unleashed James Lo to score on my right-hand side. Carolan unfortunately, hitting my twin brother’s outside shoulder on this occasion, 26 vs 14. While his radar may have been slightly adrift on this occasion, it wasn’t 2 minutes later, as he slotted a penalty that intersected my brother and I. As the crowd cheered, all I could remember was Jacob Poulton’s whisper beforehand “think about the skill” – only 30 minutes earlier he had seen his dubious up and under result in a penalty for Belsize Park. With their tails now up, some great skills were on show. A solid Steve John catch from kick-off and some fantastic hands, saw Tim Russell storming down my left, an attempted inside pass to Joe Carolan was deemed to be deliberately knocked down by the Belsize Park defender and a further yellow card ensued – Belsize Park down to 13, an apparent eighth card of the season for them! From the scrum that followed, I was able to witness the backs once again in all their glory, a set-piece move saw Matt Killeen break the line and offload to James Lo for his second of the match and fourth of the season. This time there was no mistake and the Caravan slotted the ball just to my right, 36 vs 14.

Against the run of play Belsize Park struck next. With 15 players back on the pitch and some fantastic hands, their 11 was away, Dodging, Ducking, Dipping, Diving and Dodging like he was playing Globo Gym, the try was eventually scored in the corner – some very average Joe’s play from the Hammers backline. Conversion on this occasion unsuccessful, score 36 vs 19. With 5 minutes to play Hammersmith grabbed the match by the scruff of its neck. Ollie Weaver putting the team in a fantastic position, while exceeding Ben Dugdale’s request of just making touch. A great throw by Scott Van Berckel setting up the backline, as Tim Russell carried hard to the line. Three phases’ later and it was the tyre specialist himself Josh Smith over the line for the Hammers 6^th of the game. With Carolan taking the full 90 seconds to slot the kick, the clock was dead and as the whistle was blown, they knew they had won, but were reluctant to celebrate, for they knew in their heart what still awaits them. Full-time, 43 vs 19.

Another Bonus-point win for Hammersmith & Fulham RFC, as they make it 281 points for the season and 4 out of 4 so far. Unfortunately, I won’t be there to observe them as they face a tough Old Haberdashers team away next week but wish them the best. Until Fullerian’s at home, I bid my farewell, for with drive and a bit of talent, you can move mountains.

The Left-Post closest to the Flood Lit Training Pitch

Score: Hammersmith & Fulham Men’s 1^st XV 43 vs Belsize Park Men’s 1^st XV 19

Man of the Match: Alex Spicer

A sunny day set the scene for what the Hammersmith expected to be a challenging day, and the first game away from home this season.

Cobham started the game fast, as Hammersmith tried to wash off a warmup which had lacked execution. Cobham prevented multiple attempts from Hammersmith to leave their half. Then they were able to rack up some phases which lead to a step and offload from Cobham’s 10, setting up the first points of the game. 7-0.

With neither team able to create too much momentum a slick set piece saw the Hammersmith forwards maul their way to the second score of the day. 7-5.

Unfortunately for Hammersmith, further difficulty with execution continued and then a defensive penalty allowed Cobham take three points in front of the sticks. 10-5.

The rush defensive call was given, and Joe Carolan ran up to intercept a pass leading to Hammersmith’s second score of the day. 10-12.

Following the next restart, Hammersmith seem to be lifted and started to show what they can do. With Forwards and backs linking up well. A break from Tim Russell and good support from Scott Van Berckel, Lead to good position within Cobham’s half. Further forward punch ups continued, the move was finished by Ollie Weaver completing a three person miss pass, for James lo to finish in the corner. 10-17

The positive spell continued as major ground made by Tom Proctor and Josh Smith found Hammersmith in the Cobham 22. A great cross field kick from Ollie Weaver was expertly received by Tim Russell who offloaded to Edward Haynes for Hammersmith’s fourth try of the day. 10-24

Momentum continued for Hammersmith, after a move which started just outside of their 22 was ended by Ben Dugdale, he claims, doting the ball down. The ref however felt the ball was knocked on and so the scrum was given to Cobham which lead to a good exit for Cobham. Hammersmith found themselves once again being unable to string passes together, luckily for Hammersmith this period was brief and following a solid kick chase an attacking scrum on the half way line was won. A slick backs move, gave the ball to the back three whom connect well with James lo finishing the move off. 10-31

This period of play continued, after receiving the restart Hammersmith put phases together. Finishing with a good inside ball from Ollie Weaver to Joe Carolan, whom after a dummy was able to run directly under the sticks. 10-38

Shortly after the start of the second half , the Hammersmith’s defensive penalty count started to rise. This allowed Cobham multiple visits to within the Fulham 22. On the third time of asking, Cobham upped the intensity and got the first points of the half. A good line out, followed by a strong midfield move and then quick hands found the space out wide. 15-38

Both teams then took turns stringing a few phases together without much return. A good pass from Ross Anderson gave the Hammersmith back three another chance in attack. This time choosing a less orthodox style with the ball finding the floor quick thinking from Peter Morris led to a bit of football, allowing Tim Russell to jump on the ball once it was over the line. 15-43

Another patch of form was found by Hammersmith, a good period of phases strung together lead to another good set piece and a second maul try from the forwards. 15-50

Hammersmith were then able to complete an end-to-end play from the kick off, including an excellent kick and collect from Peter Morris, and an impressive carry from old man Rogan, who once back to his feet went again with a pick and go. Joe Carolan completed his hattrick scoring off an inside ball from Josh Smith. 15-57

Following this Cobham had another period of attack, but the ball was picked out by Tim Russell who ran the ball in from 60 meters out. 15-64

Cobham had one last attack in them, identical to their other try of the half. A penalty led to a line out in a dangerous area, a big hit up in the midfield then quick hands to score on the edge. 20-64.

At the final whistle Hammers went into the changing room happy with the result, but disappointed by discipline and errors, lots to work on this week.

In the run up to the Beaconsfield fixture everyone was aware a bullseye has painted on our chest’s, following the dismantling of Windsor. Our scalps were the prized possessions of the league, after our standout victory, and up stepped Beaconsfield to chance their hand. So, my question is … What do films such as ‘Moneyball’, ‘Rocky’ and ‘The Mighty Ducks’ all have in common? Aside from being some of the best sports films ever made, they all draw your focus to the underdog. Pulling at heartstrings to root for the underdog is a classic Hollywood trope familiar in many stories. This however is not that story… BREAKING NEWS… Hammers did it again!

A minute’s silence punctuated the pre-match build-up from the actual contest. It has, since the passing of the Queen, been a time of mourning and sorrow. Other sports events across London and the country were postponed or cancelled in shows of respect. The RFU decided that rugby was to continue and in turn so was Hammers Day. (I heard the Queen was a Hammers fan so it’s what she would’ve wanted.)

A play by play analysis of all 13 tries (yes you read that correctly 13) would rival Homer’s Iliad for length and would likely become mundane and repetitive after a while. Here are a few of my personal highlights which might give you a flavour for the match.

The battle for top try scorer has been advanced with Matt Kileen touching 3 down this week to add to his existing 4 from the Windsor match. While Joe Carolan also scored 3 this week Matt has opened up a lead in the standings. Will Tim Russell have to cut his hair or will he catch up? The support lines from all of the backs were superb and when the Hammers attack flooded the line whoever caught the offload usually scored. Plenty of contenders for try of the year.

Tim Russell, scything through the defence decided to change teams. No longer was he a Hammer instead now he was a Harlem Globe-Trotter offloading a basketball style pass to Alex Hart over the head of the penultimate defender. Ooh’s and aah’s followed from the crowd as Hart offloaded to Joe Carolan to do the final bit of running.

Joe Carolan not kicking the ball into touch on the full. Congratulations Joe.

The front row union has clearly been having secret meetings. Not only was the scrum strong but the ball carrying was very impressive. The defence on several occasions was carved up by a front row running an inside or tip line. Special commendation to Scott who is clearly still trying to make a good impression. In the right place most of the time which ultimately paid off with 2 tries. Ricky Drewitt’s grabbed one more try for the front row. A tip toe sideline run to score the final try of the day. Must be the footwork he picked up in his boxing debut but the man squeezed down the side-line to seal the deal.

Nobody hits ruck’s like Tom Proctor, at least according to Mark, and nobody picks and goes like Tom Proctor either. Thank you for showing us how to exploit the shortside Tom a role model as always. Be more like Tom.

Before the match I heard a rumour that Ed Haynes used to be a flanker. The man who currently occupies our midfield has nearly as many tries as appearances. After witnessing first hand the crunching tackles, knocking the wind out of Beaconsfield, it’s a rumour I now believe. Equally it is the second week in a row where he has dropped the ball while running.

To sign off I’d like to paraphrase the great wisdom of Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage… “Rugby is a fraternity, and the boys will work their butts off for you as long as you respect them and don’t lie. You can’t let anyone walk all over you, or everybody will walk all over you.”

Synchronise your watches.

3pm Saturday 17^th @ Cobham.

Don’t be late.

(Seriously Harty don’t be late)

The morning of Saturday 23^rd April. 232 days of London 1 rugby; 70km of “swings and back!”; 100 Litres of Lambrini. One final bus trip. One final 80 minutes before the curtain falls…

A packed clubhouse, and glorious sunshine reflecting off a sea of pink Camberley blazers, provides our backdrop.

After 20 minutes the home side are two tries to the good and, despite having a novice prop, are beginning to assert their physical dominance at scrum-time. The spectating flamboyance of the flamingos can therefore be forgiven for expecting a victory procession. Too bad flamingos have little sense of smell as there is definitely something in the air. A midfield turnover; caution thrown to the wind; a Matt Newman half-break and offload; a Pete Bicknell hard-line; the ball is spun through the backs, Tim Russell breaks the line and offloads to Joe “his arms are cold” Carolan to bring the Hammers back to within 1 score.

Three things in life are certain. Taxes, Death, and Rich Vaughan’s opposite number being the largest human on the field. The home side require all of their 10kg per player advantage to prevent the wave after wave of red attacks breaching their defences. Ross Anderson decides this would be the opportune moment to explain the laws of our beautiful game to the referee for which he is rewarded with an extra 10 minutes to prepare his halftime Braveheart-esque speech.

However, even the loss of their talismanic no. 10 cannot slow the tide of Rogan’s Reds. Alex “Money” Spicer, spotting the Co-op logo adorning the Camberley post protectors, flicks a switch and makes a charge down the left touchline. Only an infringement prevents a certain try but the next score is inevitable. Joe Carolan runs over some poor soul, offloading to a flying Vaughan. The ball is recycled and thrown wide to another honey badger, who puts in the “el ganzo” step, to score under the posts.

14-14.

“Marry me Timmy Russell?!” pierces the otherwise deafening silence.

Despite Ross Anderson’s well-rehearsed motivational TED talk, the second half begins much like the first. Camberley pressure leads to an infringement and loss of territory for Carolan’s Congregation (it is after all his world we are all living in). Camberley effectively deploy their battering ram and lead by 7.

However Terry’s Troops aren’t going quietly and minutes later release their own devastating secret weapon (months in-development) and execute the perfect rolling maul. El jugador del partido, Señor Angus “El Ganzo” Marrón emerges con balón to restore parity. Alex “the Big Issue” Spicer emerges with a yellow card for attempting to save his knee from dislocation.

From the resulting penalty/kick-off the home side do what they do best, crashing over from short range. Another quick score provides some breathing room and the watching flamingos exhale…

There are certain, albeit rare, moments in life when three Scotsmen are better than one. Head Coach Jackson felt that this is precisely one of those moments, throwing on McCloud and Anderson, to join future club captain Stephen, with the instruction that “now we run everything”.  This tactical masterstroke is rewarded instantly as first Ross, with a poacher’s finish so outrageous it would be illegal within 50 miles of a game reserve, then Marshall cross the whitewash to bring Bicknell’s Brethren back to within touching distance.

The final 10 minutes sees Surrey Heath become Harlem, N.Y. as El Ganzo’s Globetrotters attempt to keep the ball more alive than the hills are with the sound of music…Ultimately living by the sword, can mean dying by the sword, and two long-range Camberley tries close out the game.

Congratulations to Camberley for an almost perfect season and best of luck for next year in Nat 3.

This was truly a David vs Goliath encounter, in more ways than one. Today Goliath had his revenge. However David’s time will come; he will be crowned; Jackson’s Journeymen will be back!

Scorers:

• Carolan
• Russell
• Brown
• Anderson
• McCloud