Following a disappointing but winning performance the week before against a resilient Farnham, it was a determined Hammers 1st XV that travelled to Surrey for this, their first ever match against Guildford RFC.

From the start, things were different.  The boys started strongly, defending the first 5 mins or so, before winning some good penalty turnovers and taking the game to Guildford and opening the account via a great first try through Pete Bicknell, care of a couple of good Jacks followed by a Whisky (Rangy) and he was in.

Score: 5 vs 0.

Typically, Hammers switched off from the restart, with Guildford employing a split Kick Off. The ball was caught by Captain Joe Carolan on the backs’ side, before a silly penalty was given coming in from the side. Guildford kicked to the corner and then 5-man lineout drive over the line.  Score 5-5.

This lapse in concentration in the first half was what we needed to switch back on, securing the ball from the kick off back and scoring almost straight away, with the forwards retaining possession well which unleashed the back line. A couple of dents from Bicknell and Pete M was able to go himself and make it to the line. Score: 12 vs 5. Hammers extended the lead through a penalty 15 vs 5, before score our third try of the half. Bicknell crash ball, with an offload inside to Joe Carolan under the posts score 22 vs 5.

Unfortunately, this was Bicknell’s last partaking in the game as he went off with a dead leg. Guildford, scored in the final play of the half with the most dubious decision of the year, they kicked the ball through, Mitch put the ball down over the line, ref said that the ball was not controlled, despite admitting there was downward pressure. Score half time: 22 vs 10.

Hammers started the second half on the back foot, catching the restart but giving a penalty away almost straight after. Guildford nudged it into the corner where they remained on our line for the next 5 minutes, however, the defence stayed firm holding them out. When Hammers finally got in their half, they scored from what was undoubtedly our best try of the season and some New Zealand-esque style of rugby. Two quick Jacks and a magic, straighten through the defence, with Joe Crawley on hand to score in the corner. Score: 27 vs 10.

For the next 15 mins we were in our own half unable to escape and unfortunately the defence didn’t hold out as it had done previously. There were some great shots going in with bodies on the line, however Guildford were able to score eventually through 2 pick and go’s in very quick succession. Score 27 vs 22. At this point, concerns of another Medway were in the players’ minds, however, like most of the day our counter attack and freestyle of play put us further ahead. A loose kick from them to Pete Morris, who beat two and offloaded, quick hands from Ricky to Joe, to step inside and offload to Ross who has officially ended his Doughnut. Conversion successful. Score: 34 vs 22.

For the remainder of the game, we were camped on our line. Pete Morris, received a yellow, but bodies were being put on the line including Sean who took a big old blow to the head. Defence remained strong with a massive effort until the ref finally blew his whistle. Final Score: 34 vs 10, and our first away bonus point of the year!

Hammersmith and Fulham 2’s made the favourably short journey of 7 mins down the A3 to play London (eaten too many) Cornish pasties at the Richardson Evans Memorial Playing Fields. Blustery and wet conditions made no excuses. Mitch Lewis got the 2s off to a tepid start via a quick change of direction drop-kick off that didn’t even make it 10 unfortunately.

What Cornish lacked in numbers (13 players) they made up for in brute force as the Hammers found themselves pinned in their own half for the first 20-30 mins eventually leading to a maul-driven try by Cornish in the corner. The windy conditions thankfully meant this try went unconverted 5-0, and the Hammers turgid start finally turnaround after playing some actual rugby resulting in a try to 2s debutant Joe Crawley danced his way through two Cornish players before hurdling their prop to dot down, this was duly converted by Ben Dugdale, our terrier-like dogged halfback, with the sides going in at halftime 5-12 to the Hammers.

In the second half, the Hammers numerical advantage and fitness finally started to pay dividends, which were further compounded due to additional injuries to the Cornish team. Starting the match with a front-row that looked like something you’d find in Terry’s Lost-and-Found bin at the clubhouse, a front three of Whittingham, Reuben “Please Don’t Deport Me” Hernandez, and Johnson actually held their own against a former Cornish 1s prop duo who came in at a whopping 120kg and 130kg respectively. They simply looked as though they had eaten the existing 2s front row and taken their places.

Unforced errors, a lack of discipline across the park, and half a dozen knock-ons from the backs in wet and blustery condition were the key issues for 2s which resulted in Cook, Imfeld and Hernandez having to step in as makeshift centres to eventually play through Vaughan for his second try of the day following a good run from Cook through the midfield. Following a short dry spell Mitch pulled off a cross field kick and with a faithful bounce it landed in the hands of Morgan who sensed white line fever whilst being chased down so started to slide in from the 5m line but even he was unsure if he grounded fully.

However, it was Lalor who was simultaneously both the best and worst in the same passage of play after dropping the ball from a kick-off, somehow managed to avoid knocking it on only to then grubber kick the ball 30 yards, pick it up himself and pass to play in our resident Kiwi Bryce “Up the Bok” Morgan for his second try. He was duly advised by his fellow forwards to cut out that razzle-dazzle nonsense moving forward, else he’ll have got dick of the day.

Ed Donovan received Man of The Match after 4 years out of rugby lasted 80mins and Hernandez, despite similar strong efforts on the loose head side, received Dick of the Day (again!) after giving away a penalty due to a high tackle for the second week running, albeit narrowly escaping a yellow card this time due to mitigating factors.

All in all, quite a lot to improve on across the park, but the 2’s remain undefeated and finished out the match as 38-5 winners.

 

 

 

 

After weeks of firm pitches and Indian Summer rugby we finally saw the arrival of Monsoon season. Boy how we’ve all missed it!

Following a tight loss away to Medway the team’s feeling was that nothing other than a Bonus point W would do. A strong week of training meant the Hammers were in a good place to right the wrongs of the previous fortnight.

From the off the Hammers were keen to play front-foot rugby and to try and throw the ball about. Strong carries across the park gave the Hammers an early five metre attacking scrum. Having been penalised three times in the opening five minutes, Club Captain Rogan pictured himself getting beaten by Seb Money for the third time in a row in a game of Supa-5s. Channelling this aggression he obliterated his opposite man to give Harry Scarr the easiest of touchdowns at the back of the scrum. For most of the first half the Hammers were entirely dominant with the Geese barely able to get out of their own half. Our singular Goose, however, was putting himself about as only a hooker with a back-row complex can do. Two more well-worked tries followed, one from winger/9 Owen “Dominos” Bennett who swapped the XL Meat Feast Pizza for a meat-pie in the corner, and one from Dr. Lean from short-range after relentless forward pressure.

Jacko’s words of wisdom pre –match that “some of you ******s might not touch the ball today” was taken up as a challenge by some. Sean in particular could likely not have told you the brand of rugby ball we were playing with. He did, however, get to know the ankles of the opposition intimately well over the course of 80 minutes.

The middle portion of the game can largely be summarised as scrum, 1 phase, knock on, scrum, penalty, lineout (lost), Bicknell makes 40 metres, knock on, Tim Russell tries something outrageous, scrum etc. The particular highlight was Joe Carolan’s 50m charge-down try in the first play of the second half. The charge down was good, the celebratory dive was excellent!

After this followed a period of Hammers indiscipline and Wild Geese pressure. To credit our opposition, they kept the ball well over many phases and despite a big defensive effort from the Hammers tight 5, eventually powered over from close range.

The conversion for the second try coincided with Sam Nursey stepping the entire Grasshoppers team twice in the same run on the adjacent pitch. This proved the inspiration the Hammers backline needed to provide some final entertainment for our dedicated fans. Having already scored one himself, Joe Carolan unselfishly made sure he didn’t have enough gas in the tank to finish from a Mike Laverly cross-kick, instead offloading out of the tackle for Marshall to score in the corner. From the proceeding kick-off (and last play) the Hammers took the ball from touchline to touchline, and three rucks later Pete Bicknell scored under the sticks.

A particular mention to loyal servant Dr. Lean who played his final game for the club. He ends his Hammers career where he belongs, in the 2^nd row. We wish him all the best for his future in the West Country and thank him for his dedication to the club.

Massive thanks to everyone who came down to watch. Not that anyone is counting but we can add another fortnight to our 2 years and 2 month undefeated streak at Hurlingham Park. All in all a cracking Saturday for the club with four wins from four. Terry may need to re-mortgage…

 

On a sunny September Saturday london’s friendliest club made their way to a club from London- KCS Old Boys on this occasion. Off the back of a promising win against Camberley on debut in London 1; the mood echoed the weather and after a warm-up where line-outs were hit and backs moves were executed, the boys were confident of a result. Unfortunately, this was probably as good as the mood got on the day and to be honest there was not much of any note to be taken from the following 80 minutes.

The early exchanges were dominated by the Hammers consistency- consistently not clearing rucks, dropping balls and defensive clangers. The Old Boys somehow managed to capitalise on this fine start by the Hammers with a one out runner splitting the centres and giving the scorers their first work of the day. Coach Mark introducing the home crowd to some subtleties of the English Language on the touchline. 5-0 .Before long they had doubled this to 10. Can’t quite remember how this happened but it was probably a catch and drive or something; that’s this new set-piece thing that teams in London 1 are trying out this year. I’m sure we’ll crack it eventually.

Rarer than a steak fried for a minute either side- some clean ball from the scrum facilitated by Andrew Regan pushing and shoving allowed Ross Anderson to unleash the backs. This clean ball, coupled with another London 1 winger gazing longingly at Tim Russell’s luscious locks gave just enough time and space for Tim to break down the edge. A supportive line from Marshall Mcleod allowed the Scot to gallop over under the sticks; a rare highpoint for the Hammers in a largely turgid affair. The Caravan added the extras. 10-7.

Penalties were exchanged leaving the score 13-10 at half-time. Leaving all to play for in the second half.

It’s fair to say there was a rocket of sorts shot up the backsides of the lads at half time. Whilst defence was tightened -led by the ascendant Harry Scarr- and phases were sort of put together, there really isn’t much to write for the following 40 minutes. Interest was piqued for the home crowd when a quick tap from the Old Boys outside half identifying Hammers only having a local Tory MP and a Hobbit on the right hand side. They subsequently went coast to coast and recorded the only score of the second half. 20-10.

The rest of the game was largely played out with scrum after scrum largely to the dismay of the backs and 99% of people watching. The arousal of the 6 front rowers going hammer and tong was palpable and probably marks a highpoint on a pretty rough day at the office. Final score 20-10.

It would be hard to write a match report without including our departing leader Josh Mcclean. In the words of Salt-N-Pepa, ‘what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man’. Arguably not the send off worthy of a great man, but it’s fair to say what the club has achieved with him steering the ship is nothing short of remarkable. All the best up in Sheffield Big guy! Some significant boots to fill for Joe Caravan, I personally cannot wait to hear his version of ‘nothing from me’ when asked if he has anything to add at training.

The Hammers face a tough trip to Medway in 2 weeks time; this will be a real indicator of character and the boys will be looking for a response.

 

 

Hammersmith and Fulham 4s XV went into Saturday having recorded back-to-back losses, amounting to the team’s worst start to a season for four years. Yet, in a week where petrol was scarcer than veterans at training, nothing would prevent the Hammers from turning up in droves to right the wrongs of previous weeks.

So focused on the mission at hand was Marsh, and so keen to flaunt his back-to-school plimsols, that bringing appropriate footwear was no longer a significant concern. With the team assembled, and boots adequately redistributed, a storm was coming to Feltham.

Literally, a storm was brewing. As if Steve “Scotty T” Danby had summoned the mighty Zeus himself with his rousing words and sultry Geordie twang, a biblical tempest gathered over the outer reaches of West London.

Kicking into the wind to start the game, Hammers fly-half, Nick Emmett, bounced the ball along the ground to only just make it past 10. What appeared to the untrained eye to be a pathetic fumble of a kick, was indeed a beautiful masterstroke from the well-versed veteran to nullify the, now, gale-force winds.

A strong defensive set in the Feltham half and penalty turn-over won the ball back and put the Hammers on the front foot. Kicking to the corner, the ever-wise Emmett deciding to get the ball off the ground this time, the Hammers threatened an attacking lineout.

Three Feltham turnovers and re-entries into the 22 later, Marsh, on debut and feeling the 99-agility of his recently borrowed boots, dropped a shoulder to cross the whitewash and score the opening points of the game.

0-7 to the visitors. A good start.

With a pack size to rival the Springboks, Feltham came back swinging, crashing time and again upon the Hammers defence. After 5 minutes of relentless pressure, the flood defences gave out. The sluice gates opened and Feltham trundled over the line.

5-7

For the subsequent 20 minutes, a period characterised by knock-ons, forward passes and lost balls in contact, either the Hammers backs hadn’t cleaned the hair-pomade from their pre-match ritual off their hands, or the weather was starting to take its toll.

Pacey debutant Dan Chirwa dropped a pass from Jamie Drysdale, who had boshed through the Feltham centres, to squander a 2 vs. 1 on the fullback and an undeniable try-scoring opportunity. Such was the apparent error, that when gifted exactly the same opportunity 5 minutes later, Drysdale flagrantly ignored Chirwa’s cries and put ball to laces rather than risk the apparent danger of another pass in those conditions.

Late in the half and exploiting Feltham’s eagerness to “Fold the 9” (as was overheard several times), Tomos withheld his offload from the top of an attacking line-out, jumped to the floor and simply strolled through the Feltham pack cross the line without challenge.

12-5 at half time.

Forced changes to the Hammers 9/10 combination on either side of half time due to injury seemed to cause confusion, as the ball was suddenly finding its way to the wing without hitting the turf. With another debutant Ollie Boulton filling in at 9, and the revelations of what was possible, Hammers discovered an entirely new region of the pitch – the 15-metre line.

Now, to be honest, I don’t remember much of the second half because I spent most of it gasping for oxygen like a fish out of water (pretty sure I’ve missed a try in here somewhere, sincere apologies Ed Haynes), but from what could be discerned between frantic breaths, the Hammers had discovered their Joue Joue.

Apparently fresh off watching a Quade Cooper highlights reel, Ollie Boulton threw shoulders left and right to weave through the Feltham pack for another try. In the dying embers of the game, again appearing as the protagonist in our tale, Marsh (playing 8 by the way) cleared his own lines with a monstrous kick to an isolated Feltham forward, only to recollect the ball himself and offload to a charging Scotty T who topped off an ultimate breakaway try.

Final score: 5-36

With a roster of scorers spread across many positions, strong performances from a string of debutants playing out of position, and a genuinely impressive 50% conversion rate in ungodly conditions, the 4s displayed their strength in depth and unity as a team. Bring on the rest of the season!