Floodgates open for the Hammers!
There are 3 inevitabilities in life: Death, Taxes and Will Bretnall putting his card behind the bar at the Christmas Lunch. However, before we get onto Sunday, let’s talk about Saturday the 2nd December….
The Hammers rolled in after a week off after a sobering loss against OA’S, facing a must-win stretch between now and the New Year. But as the old saying goes, “don’t-back-a-veteran-42-year-old-prop-up-against-wall” – you’ll get a response.
Genuinely, first 25 mins was a bit of a blur. We were liquid, playing fast-flowing ruggers round-the-corner enabled by a ruck speed that left the Tunbridge Wells defensive line scrambling to keep up. The conductor of this symphony of running Rugby? Sam Seymour, directing the boys from the 10 shirt like a Christopher Nolan movie in what would prove a man-of-the-match performance, yet this wasn’t Interstellar – NAY, this was Hammers, and we were INTO THESE TUNBRIDGE MEN!
It wasn’t long till the first of 7 tries was scored, Northerner Henry Boyd breaking his try drought with not one but two clinical finishes in the corner, the space created thanks to the Hammers’ forwards bullying their opposite pack in the set piece from everywhere. The third try – merely 15 minute in – came from yet another lethal Hammers maul, but this time the Steam Pigs were determined to finish their own good maul work and hooker Dan Hostetler crossed the white line by the posts. Your author did more running of the tee then he did with the ball, (and respectfully he wasn’t too happy about it), but the games the game. The opening stanza would be completed just the other side of the 20 minute mark when boys secured their first bonus point win of the season off the back of a Ben Dugdale try… but he later tapped and went on his own line, so net loss.
To their credit – and after an absolute spray under the sticks not seen at Hurlingham Park since 2019-2023 seasons – Tunbridge came back into the game with their physicality and, frankly, quite intimidating number 8. Hammers repelled multiple phases but eventually leaked a try thanks to Up-the-Jumper rugby. Half time, 26-7.
The second half saw the Hammers settle into a more composed style of play. Kicking smartly, making tackles, and doing the basics well kept the game in their control, but Tunbridge wasn’t about to lie down. They mixed up their game plan, began to run much more direct, and came at the boys. Some stella defensive sets kept the Hammers try line unsullied, but it was only when Timmy Russell reached into his handbag and pulled out an absolute vintage interception-and-try that Tunbridge’s momentum was halted. The boys could sense that something special was happening…
That “special” came off a Hammers penalty in our own half. A quick tap…slipped tackle…2 accurate passes…quick feet…and an offload later, we found ourselves in prime real estate just inside the Tunbridge 22. It was on…but how would it end…
…with wily veteran Rogan running a speculative cheat line to the blind side of the ruck. Quick ball, and some slick hands from Marshall saw Rogan dot down in the corner! The crowd went utterly wild! To put this in perspective, the last time our 42 year old, father-of-2, 141 cap loose head prop Andrew Rogan scored a try:
- The Fire Fest documentary came out
- Everyone played Flappy Bird.
- Bitcoin was worth £5k.
- The Red Wedding Aired.
It was a beautiful moment for the team and well deserved. There was little else to report on from that point until full time aside from their replacement prop getting a red card for a shocking shoulder charge clear out on Josh AA’s big brother, Ben Dugdale.
The Hammers won, up to 9th. The rest of the night was filled with Temperance, Kings Arms (Sleep), The Mitre, Kings Arms AGAIN & The Mitre AGAIN. Talk about a good old fashioned weekend!
Bracknell away next week, Lambrini beckoning.
Into these Red Men.
